Wednesday, February 27, 2008

There is so much wrong with this country

A Congressional committee has asked federal law enforcement authorities to investigate whether Roger Clemens made false statements under oath about his use of performance-enhancing drugs. So if I understand this right congress is asking the justice department to investigate an alleged perjurer and steroids user; a fucking baseball player, and we still can't get anyone credible to investigate George W Bush to see if he broke the law.

This country is fucked up.

mental images


If you need a hint the H stands for Holy. I don't need to say more but I am coming up with pictures.

Rational Business Practice or Hyper Paranoia

So RAID 5 backed up hourly and daily to other hard drives. Weekly backups to tape and off siteing of those tapes to a underground location that maintains security and environmental conditions. Spreading your data storage devices to other buildings so that fire/earthquake/tornado/ect. has less of a chance to take your data. 24 hour by 7 days a week hardware, software and network support to make sure that if anything fails it can be replaced quickly while a redundant process takes over.

And these fuckers want more protection?! What the fucking crap! Calm the hell down you paranoid bastard sons of bitches!

Seriously. Some corporate god up on high decided that we need to consolidate the practical outcome of which is that I have some new customers that I didn't pick nor approve of and am not allowed to get rid of. They want a primary and secondary person that they can get hold of at any time and a rigid overly redundant system of responsibilities so that if anything goes wrong they can know exactly who to blame. The biggest problem I have with this, besides the ass-hattery of their blame game, is that we don't have a 24x7 system and I don't feel we ought to put one in place just for a bunch of back-stabbing jerks that were forced on us.

Monday, February 18, 2008

I am a Greater Unslept

So very tired. Worked 6 hours on a freakin sunday. Didn't get to sleep till 1ish. In need of a nap.

Come in this morning and am running fast till lunch. Whats up with that? Look let me lay out the schedule for yous guys so's you know the deal. Below is work time that I'm willing to share with people.

Sunday NO!
Monday 10am-11:30, 1:30-4
Tuesday-Thursday 9:00-11:30, 1:30-4
Friday 9:00-11:30, 1:30-3
Saturday NO!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Sure, why not.

Equal Rights for Topless Women

There are some people out there that need to keep their shirt on and there are some I don't care if they have a shirt on or not. Regardless of gender if you are 400 pounds or more I don't want to see you with your shirt off. I don't really care if a guy wants to be shirtless and, while it would probably surprise me to see one in this country, a topless woman is no big deal either.

I think this country is entirely too prudish. I don't think this level of repression is healthy. If nudity were common place it wouldn't be a big deal.

Besides, given what constitutes a legal bikini size I really don't see what the problem is. There are women out there with bikinis that you could fit in one of those plastic easter eggs.  If you have to shave your "bathing suit area" so that people don't see pubic hair they why bother at all.

Incompetent Tits!

The Twit that works for us as work station support, who claims he was a Domain Admin and that we should trust him, can't manage to figure out a simple DNS resolution error by himself and instead of asking a user for information about his computer needs he asks me; basically meaning that I have to do his job for him. He claims he was a Domain Admin and he can't resolve basic hardware, software, and configuration errors! GaRRRR! What a freakin' newbie! It is bad enough that I have my job and part of my old team leads job but I can't do his job also.

Monday, February 4, 2008

I need to order some more nerves because these assholes are going to break my last one

I'm sick. I spent all superbowl weekend on my couch in a mild fever induced trip cramming myself full of vitamins and cough syrup. The people at work all saw me leave with the early on-set of death plague. Walking into my office this morning made it abundantly clear that while I had conquered death at her own game it had cost me something; in short I still wasn't back to my normally staggering amount of awesome.

We had a drive in our filer go bad. This isn't a problem. Every tray of hard drives has two hot spares ready to leap into action the moment one goes bad, and, in the highly unlikely even that three hard drives go bad all at once, the filer next to it is a hot copy that will auto swing into place. So one drive blowing is not bad. Especially since the filer calls the manufacturer, transmits the problem, and orders a replacement drive. When I got to work at 8:30 I found out about the problem and by 9 the drive had been picked up from the dock and slotted in the filer and everything was good.

Chet; my twit co-worker, who so wants to be my new team lead despite the fact that he can't find his ass with his hands and the help of a gay proctologist, comes in and starts asking me if I knew it had happened and telling me what I needed to do to fix it. He cut what is an incredibly easy procedure into the smallest possible of steps and then questioned me if I had done them yet in a manner that suggested I was a god damn retard incapable of listening and breathing at the same time. After I had explained to him that it was covered; an hour and a half before he showed up to work, he starts going into things I ought to do which I have already planned to do when I get a spare moment. I'm sick and it's early, but what the hell, suffering fools is good for the soul. I shush him up and tell him there isn't anything about this that he can request of me that I haven't already done or plan to do since it is my responsibility and not his. Politely told to shut up and leave he goes and I take several small breaths to restore my blood pressure to something that doesn't make me feel like I've got a chest burster about to pop out and kill half the crew of my starship while I have bad 80's hair and skimpy white panties .... sorry.

Two hours later when the old foggy that ran our NOC before my last team lead shows up; thats 12:30, 3.5 hours after I've fixed the problem, he starts in on if I knew of the problem and did I know how fixed it. But this guy is different slightly in that he doesn't stop to get my answer to his questions. He asks a question and then immediately goes into long excruciating detailed explanation of why it's important and how he'd have done it.

At this point I lose it. I just start chanting "I've already done that" with breaks only for breath while rocking back and forth. When the foggy stops talking I keep going; chanting my mantra. Eventually he is lost; not knowing what to do when a co-worker obvious has gone absolutely barking fucking mad, ape shit crazy in space. Then I seem to break free of my demonic possession, look at him, and tell him that if I've already done the next thing he asks me about this that he has to leave. He thinks about it; desperately hoping to pick something obscure so that he can continue being a obnoxious know-it-all and asks his question. Before he gets it all the way out I know I've already done it. "I've already done that" and point to the door. I kinda wished he had tried to keep talking so that I could just start barking and slathering at the mouth but he realizes I'm an inch from filling him full of squirrels and leaves.

I think I ought to post a list of warning signs so that co-workers and users don't cause me to burst because I can totally see me blacking out one day and coming to while repairing a computer; replacing parts, screwing and unscrewing stuff, when SWAT rolls through the door and tells me to put down the screw driver at which point I'll realize it was a dead bloody body that I was putting a new hard drive into.

Saturday, February 2, 2008


So the NFL is busting churches that show the super bowl on screens bigger that 55 inches because it violates copyright law. It is the view of the NFL and the US gov that screens that big can only be used for public events or some such thing.

Really? Seriously? I mean doing that to Fundamentalist asshole organization sounds like a gas; actually sounds like a good way to at least cost those fuckers some money and set precedent for the government cracking the churches over the head for breaking the law. However to do that to a peaceful organization that is only interested in sharing a hobby and brotherhood is kinda dickish.

Now that that's out of the way it would be kinda funny to roll around to a bunch of these Wal*Mart sized fundamentalist asshole churches and see if they are holding super bowl parties. Either the NFL will succesfully sue a church of assholes of the courts will overturn an assholish copyright law.

Free? In what parallel universe?

1. Women are not cows.

2. Marriage is not buying.

3. Real cows like being milked; it releases pressure. Not being milked regularly upsets them and is actually painful.

4. Free? Bullshit on a stick. Besides the numerous instances that men have to shell out actual money to prove our affection there are the multitudinous times we must perform various acts that show we care. Even that is not enough. We must at least seem to spontaneously come up with new ways to show our love; usually costing a major ambulatory appendage along with our favorite sleeve filler. Free? Hardly.

In short, I don't agree with the saying "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" at any point. The buying, marriage, part makes this sound like some form of long term prostitution. Furthermore, I hate February because society demands I spend a bunch of money on my women halfway through the month throwing into sharper relief that I don't have one.

The patriarchy has its upsides but some part of me would like it if women bought me drinks. Think about that for half a second guys; go out to the bar with you buddies and have random women try to get you drunk and take you home to have sex with? More domestic? Spend all day making sure the house is clean, hang out with friends, and pay the bills so that you can feed your woman when she comes home from the fucking corporate grind and maybe go down on her to help her relieve some stress.

I don't know where I'm going with this.