Friday, February 20, 2009


So we imprisoned some people for 7 years and tortured them at GITMO. We just recently decided that they are aren't a threat to this country but that they might be a threat to China. China says they think they are terrorists and wants them since we are done with them. We told China that we don't want to hand them over because we think that China might imprison them and torture them.

::blink blink::

I really don't care if you kill off my government right now. They deserve to fend for themselves.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Meditative Yoga is not for me

Don't get me wrong. Aerobic yoga is great. Meditation is important. But smash'em together and remove the aerobics and it just isn't for me.

short ones

I was in the shambala center during sitting meditation. I was one of maybe 15 people in the room, meditating, when the door opened up and a man with a gun walked in. Everyone in the room turned and looked at him as he raised the weapon but he had no sooner done that then I smoothly and quickly rose, pushed the gun out of the way of everyone, and jabbed him in the throat with my fingers. What followed was a very short fight of maybe three punches; the man mostly trying to bring the gun to bear and me striking him with great force in a way that seemed oddly genital. In the end the man was disarmed, on the ground, unconscious and barely breathing. Through out the whole process my face never lost the peaceful look it had while I was meditating. People were appalled and scared by my actions; that I decided to do what I did so quickly and did so so efficiently that the man with the gun never got a shot off and was now lying in a heap and might die from the injuries I gave him. They grudgingly thanked me for saving them. I then returned to my seat and sat down to continue meditating which horrified them more.

My friend Will and I were playing an RTS game. It seemed that though there were little fights neither of us seemed very interested in destroying each other completely. We declared a truce while we went to get food and go to the bathroom. As we returned a loud klaxon went off warning us that hostiles were entering my airspace. Some other friends of ours had logged into our server and were now sending wave after wave of war machines that were far more advanced than anything that Will or I had and far more numerous then both of us combined. My defense, which had been sufficient until just now were no match for the onslaught. I could only impotently watch as their force quickly dispatched everything I had tried so hard to build without losing anything themselves. I remembering being very angry, nearly violently so, about this as my friends who had done this laughed contemptuously. I woke up.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009


I dreamed a lot last night.

I had a ticket, that looked like a movie ticket stub, for an airline which I had in the front pouch of my gray pull over. My friends and I were in a jungle crawling across downed trees, through rivers, and under dark tropical canopies all trying to get to the airport. I threw away my gray pull over in a rushing river and it was eaten by alligators or something. We made it to the airport which was strangely decorated with a combination of 1970's futuristic purplely green motif and jungle themes. The whole airport was a large as the mall of america and just a confusing. Everyone else got to go straight to the airplanes but because I lost my ticket I had to sneak in. This was managed by going to various place and crossing through them casually making use of back doors that let me into shops, restaurants and play houses. In all of this my clothes became a very nice and comfortable suit; dark but with colorful accents. I found my friends in a plush tiered waiting area that resembled a opera house. The Asian stewardess saw me sit down with my friends and asked me for my ticket. I nervously explained that lost it but that I had purchased one. I asked if she could look it up as I had all my identification. She told me the flight was leaving soon but that if we hurried she might be able to help. We ran faster than a human could ever possibly do, her in her uniform and me in my tux like suit, to sort the matter out. We arrived at a round room open to the sky in the mountains that was surrounded on one side by rapids and a waterfall on the other. The floor was covered in a tatami mats and was ringed by plants and mist. The air was warm, the sun was bright but not glaring and there was very little noise which seemed odd given the rapids and waterfall. It was very peaceful here and the low seats around would make it a great place to meditate. The stewardess turned with concern etched on her face saying that she just brought up my ticket information but that the plane was leaving and there was nothing she could do. I told here I would have to "Go Back" and tell her to make sure to hold the plane. I then started to rewind my life kinda like Nick Cage did in Next, back to the point that the stewardess was about to take me to check on my ticket info. As I was about to ask her to make sure that the plane didn't leave while we were checking I realized I could just rewind to the point where I threw away my gray pull over and take the ticket out first and keep it. The dream ended.

I was at a big covered pavilion with hoards of my friends eating a large amount of food and drinking beer. I was having a great time swapping stories, eating and drinking, when I realized that it was time I got going. I told people I had to leave. There was a groan of disappointed acceptance from my friends as I stood. My friend Will came over and shook my hand and gave me a friendly hug. My friend Jamie came over and gave me a hug and a sloppy kiss on the cheek. I started to make my way out from the pavilions waving and smiling to my friends that said good bye as I walked past. Armed with a walking stick and a backpack I looked out across the grassy turf at the mountains. I realized I was somewhere in Mongolia but that seemed perfectly normal. I got a few hundred feet away from the pavilions and then a bolt of lightening struck me. That was how I traveled. A bolt of lightening would strike me picking me up and then a bolt of lightening would strike my destination dropping me off. It scared my friends and I returned to let them know that it was okay and then I left by lightening bolt again. Dream ends.

There were two others that woke me up panting. I remember that I was chasing something or being chased but can't remember much about them. They weren't scary but weren't good.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

that was an interesting dream

I was at work and everything in the room, my clothes included, burst into flame but I didn't burn. I left the office and as I walked things caught fire. I went down stairs and outside and found that everything that could burn within about 10 feet of me just caught fire. Once I left an area the fire was free to burn itself out. It was kinda like everything within 10 feet of me was suddenly at it's autoignition temperature regardless of the material. I just felt mildly warm. Fire bursting out around me as I walked, I noticed I was naked, my clothes having long ago burnt to ash. I was a little embarrassed but these were strange circumstances. I walked downtown along the roads to minimize damage and walked to the site of the center point project. I walked into the dirt space and sat down so that I wouldn't burn anything else.

The dream ended. I was left with an uncertain feeling not knowing how my situation was going to turn out. This reminds me of another dream I've been having.

Normally I discover that in a localized area I am totally beyond reproach. Absolutely nothing can be done that I don't expressly permit within an area of about 30 to 40 feet around me. Furthermore I am capably of willing things into being; I'm able to grow plants and trees, create or dissipate clouds, bring forth water and create food and goods. I discover that things I create in my area last outside of it if they are a natural thing; simple items I create, and wounds or conditions that I heal, remain even after they leave my domain. I travel to the barren Center Point Project area and turn it into a lush garden/park full of flowers, trees, bushes, grass and a pond. The air is warm and fresh and blows gently. I am dressed in loose shorts only, bare foot, with a body that is far better sculpted than my current one. It is my prerogative to rest here in my utopia while people outside of it hammer on invisible walls and try desperately to gain access or attract my attention. I have a sense that the people outside start off curious but quickly get angry as I ignore their requests and demands. They incorrectly think I am not suppose to be there, that they are my authority, and that I should do as I say. It strikes me that this is as silly as claiming that blue is red and their wrathful and petulant demands are not offensive. The area around me is cordoned off but my location makes it difficult; they can't just wall it up for blocks around me.

Months go by. Military people and scientists maintain a perimeter and try to study and communicate with me. Now that the initial strangeness is over, I decide to make contact. I walk up to the only scientist on observation duty and address her. She is shocked that this is happening and quickly tries to alert others. I wait and soon a panel of lab coats are there. I request to speak with the person that I first talked to. After they realize I won't speak to anyone else she is hastily brought. I ask if she would like to speak to me in my garden. After a tentative yes, the barrier they constructed around me becomes permeable just in front of her and, accepting a hand I proffer, she is pulled through to the shock and consternation of the other scientists and military authority. I tell her I am only here for a short time, maybe a decade or so, and that I am willing to help people out as I like, I am even willing to listen to short petitions but that the world will have to accept that what I decide is final.

I heal a number of people making them whole and healthy, I create a certain amounts of valuable materials for use in the outside world and I speak with a great number of people. I am somewhat vexed though when I discover that the authorities are filtering who comes to me and that a large amount of greed and corruption are forming around me. I request that the authorities put an end to this but they are incapable or unwilling.

They prove that they wish to control me even when it is proven that they can't. I ask for a live news feed to the world, give my first and last press conference condemning anyone who has tried to abuse the gift I was trying to offer, suggest that if people wish to live in a utopia they can't let those who are like that lead, and then I vanish from this world.

My garden remains. No one can enter. It remains unspoiled forever.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Blend baby blend

I bought a 20$ stick blender today from the krogers and the fixings for black bean soup. Turned out okay but I'm gonna do it differently next time. The raw yellow onion is getting replaced with a sauteed vidalia onion and I think I'll use vegetable stock to simmer and puree the veggies in. I also think I'll leave the salt out till last so I can season to taste. Other than that I think the chipolte tabasco was dead on.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Koan Time

There are always three halves to any problem. Half the time it's good, half the time it's bad and half the time it is crazier than a tube sock full of greased weasels.

Riding the catastrophe coaster!

I have my lawn chair and some beer; I'm ready for this country to lose its freakin' mind. The US is going to catch fire; first economically, then politically, then paramilitarily and finally physically. I don't know when and I don't know how much fire. I'm not looking forward to it but at the same time I'm excited to see what happens. Some part of me is concerned that if I express these sentiments too loudly or often people will get mad at me and/or try to hurt me.

It's going to be a strange time to be a discordian. Half the time I'm going to have to laugh at the folly of Grey Face. The other half I'm going to be crying because of the pain. The third half I will spend making macaroni portraits of people.

I see this as a truly amazing thing that is going to be full of wondifurious opportunities and horrible choices. It going to suck. It is going to be hard. It is going to be great. It is going to be rewarding.

Thank you for boarding the catastrophe coaster! Please keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times or you may lose them! Please hold on tight, grit your teeth, button up your assholes and get ready for a hell of a ride!