mental images

HMILF

If you need a hint the H stands for Holy. I don't need to say more but I am coming up with pictures.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/

So the NFL is busting churches that show the super bowl on screens bigger that 55 inches because it violates copyright law. It is the view of the NFL and the US gov that screens that big can only be used for public events or some such thing.

Really? Seriously? I mean doing that to Fundamentalist asshole organization sounds like a gas; actually sounds like a good way to at least cost those fuckers some money and set precedent for the government cracking the churches over the head for breaking the law. However to do that to a peaceful organization that is only interested in sharing a hobby and brotherhood is kinda dickish.

Now that that's out of the way it would be kinda funny to roll around to a bunch of these Wal*Mart sized fundamentalist asshole churches and see if they are holding super bowl parties. Either the NFL will succesfully sue a church of assholes of the courts will overturn an assholish copyright law.

I've exercised my eclesiastic muscles

I married Chris and Abby. I asked if they wanted to be married. I said words over it and sprayed them with beer. "You are now both wet for each other". I feel proud. It won't be official unless they bring me a marriage certificate and we all sign it with in 28 days.

Discordian weddings are fun.

I understand now

I've heard Jews commiserate about Christmas time out shining Hanukkah and being so pervasive that they can't get away from it. I didn't really think about it but having just gone through Christmas and not being a christian I think I can understand. There is this sense that they are unknowingly shoving their religion down your throat. I find the fervor with which some  pray disconcerting if not disturbing.  Some seem to include me along with their prayer as in "God, we all hope that you will ..." or "Thank you so much for <variable> us". I find it difficult not to speak up and express myself but I think in some places it might get me lynched.  "Actually I'm not sure God did anything for me regarding that and I'm certain that we brought ourselves together with out any divine aide" might just be recorded as my last words.

It kinda gives me this dead feeling inside like "Oh we're praying again are we?". I understand why they do it if it brings them comfort but that level of dependence says something about a person. It's just creepy.

Ordination mix up

So apparently the organization from which I received my ordination split from the official church some time back and I'm uncertain if I was ordained before or after.  On the upside I've not actually presided over anything in a legal aspect.  On the downside I'm not certain if I'm legally ordained and I have been saying I was.

S'all sorted now.  I've reapplied.  The ULC will be sending me something official in a couple days and everything will be the way it should.

My imaginary friend already beat your imaginary friend up.

No text to this one.  It's selfexplanatory. Thou the true intellectual will have some problems with it.

Kinda funny even if you don't believe in God or Satan

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.

This one is mine

Left and right are subjective. The proof of this is that they are completely different if you turn around. Not just in one plane but in all; up, down, forward and backward are also subjective. Go beyond that to a mental realm with no physical directions. Left wing, right wing, Christian, Atheist, nation, race, species; they are all a form of left and right and they are all subjective.

One more thing to tell people

I am now an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church. They authorize me to start my own church if I want to. I hear by declare that the whole world is my church; that all ground is holy or none of it is, that I am not a Discordian and I won't proclaim Discordian catma whenever and wherever I best deem it, and that I want everyone to be happy. Eat, drink and be merry my friends for its a hell of a way to live.

Hail Eris! Hail Discordia!

Thats something I need to remember

"Polytheism is democracy, Monotheism a dictatorship, even in its psudo-secular form"

http://www.monochrom.at/polytheism/

Can we prove, philosophically, the existence of God?

This is something I've been thinking about today: can we, in a philosophical sense, prove the existence or non-existence of God?  It is my conclusion that we cannot, the existence or non-existence of God must come as an assumption, upon which further arguments may be built.

My reasoning is currently based on the central tenent of the modern, protestant christian religion, as I understand it.  The basic rule is that to be saved, per christian doctrine, one must choose to accept Jesus as one's own personal savior.  In essence, one must choose to believe in Jesus, and thus God and his various works, or choose not to believe in Jesus.  It is the requirement of this choice that I believe precludes the proof of the existence of God, as described by Christian doctrine.

If the existence of God could be proven then no sane human would ever be faced with a choice to believe or not.  No sane human would be able to deny God any more than they could deny that the sky is blue or that walls are difficult to walk through.

Hell is other People

Hell is other people
A discussion of the existence and nature of Hell

Let me preface this fnord with the statement that I believe that religion is faith based; meaning, that things need not be internally consistent and that having faith means acceptance of things that can't be proven for to have proof is to belay faith and cause God, if God exists, to disappear in a puff of logic; which is a very mean thing to do to your creator if God created you.

If we are to assume that there is a single all powerful divine being called God, who loves us, then we must question the stories we are told of Hell. We are coerced to believe that if we do not follow certain rules that all that makes us who we are; our immortal soul, will be sent to a dimension of pain and suffering for all eternity. While it is not my intention to prove the existence or nonexistence of God I would like to challenge peoples thoughts on the nature of Hell and God. I purpose to the reader that there is no Hell as classically thought of for if such a place existed and God sends the souls of those who sin there then God certainly doesn't love us; as no loving being could send someone they love to an eternity of pain and suffering. The alternative is that God doesn't love us if God exists at all. These are assumptions.

If God loves us then it makes no sense for God to send us to a dimension of pain and suffering. If God wants to teach us and Hell is some form of corporal punishment towards that end, then it makes no sense to leave us in Hell for all eternity. If God is willing to send people to an eternity of pain and suffering if we do not follow Gods rules then God is using coercion and fear to gain followers; not the act of a loving being.

If we operate under the assumption that God loves us then we must discount the existence of an eternal dimension of pain and suffering. This leaves us with a number of possibilities; Torment in Hell is not eternal, Hell doesn't exist, or we have a misconception of what Hell is.

I am of the opinion that we are currently in Hell; surrounded by the greedy, selfish, and egotistical, and all of the things that I believe to be the consequences of those sins; war, sickness, poverty. I believe this theory over the others because I feel that torture no matter how long it lasts is unethical and not the act of a loving God and that there must be a balance against Heaven.

Having used Heaven in this fnord I suppose I should discuss it as well. I am hesitant to believe that I stop existing when my body dies. Besides the possible thermodynamic problems I find the thought that who I am as a person would be gone forever. I may be wrong about this but if I am I won't know so it seems reasonable to accept Heaven. I like the thought of a reward for being good but because I also believe in balance I believe there must be a punishment for being bad. Thus the concepts of Heaven and Hell emerge. I believe that Heaven and Hell are two separate places. That does not preclude the world we live in from being Heaven or Hell also. The reason that I believe Hell and the mortal world are one and the same is that there was no need to create aseparate place for Hell and God, even though God is all-powerful, isn't stupid or wasteful. Furthermore it seems and excellent way to allow people to see theconsequences of their actions while they are still alive and still have time to change before they die. I believe that when you die you are judged. If you are deemed worthy you may enter Heaven where you are allowed to be you without having to deal with bad people; Like an earth where everyone though of others as themselves and treated them with at least respect anddecency if not outright love, a world without transgressions. If you are not judged worthy you are sent back to earth in a new form after you are shown the error of your ways. This does not mean you have to change; that is up to you. Those who refuse to change, who enjoy their sinful ways, may be thought of as demons. Souls who voluntarily leave Heaven to go back to earth to help people and teach them may be thought of as angles. Eventually I feel that Earth will be populated only by demons and angels; all other people having become demons or have been accepted into heaven. From then on I think it will be a struggle between demons that try to corrupt angels and angles that try to convert demons. Perhaps there may be a reset so that nothing becomesstagnate.

Some may see this as condemnation of their behavior and to them I will not say you have committed the sin of pride in thinking this is about you. This is about my perceptions of reality which can't be right because I am not a perfect being and can't be right for you because you're not me.