In this world you pay for tilting with evil in cold hard cash.
Justice and honesty and loyalty are not properties of this world.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Why I do what I do
My name is Tom. I am known by other names; Elmo, Zombie, Loki, The Bandersnatch, ect. I am also known as The Drunken Master of Speed. I can drink a pint glass of beer in less than six seconds. I can, in very short order, down many beers and go from sober to pleasantly drunk and do so on certain occasions. I am full of drinking stories from all over the place; from this country and others. Residing in my head are secret drink concoctions that are enjoyed by many and are sought after. People see what I do and they want to do it also and I help them.
They never realize that what I am doing is cramming large amounts of poison into my body. They think what I do is cool and not an act of self destruction. They can't do what I can and that makes them want to. They really want to learn to do to themselves what I do.
So what do I do? I have them become my apprentice if they come to me. They have to practice slamming booze into themselves. They have to work at it. After they've done that long enough they are allowed to challenge me and become part of the House of Speed. Just before I let them in though I look them in the eye and I ask them why they want to kill themselves with booze. Why they hate their bodies and why they want to die that much sooner.
They have to realize that this choice is one that isn't going to lead to happiness but a shorter lifespan. That if it gets on top of them, as it can very easily do, they will lose everything else and won't care that parts of their body are dying. Then I ask them if they still want to do this.
I think this gives them an opportunity to act wild and crazy in a sudo controlled environment and see first hand what all of it means. Hopefully they will see what too much is without getting alcohol poisoning. Maybe they can find out what responsible drinking is and know their limit without being t-totalers.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
I am in my Angry Dome
I am performing the duties of a Windows admin and a Network Engineer because they fired our windows admin and someone had to pick up the slack. They are interviewing for the position of windows admin but the person in charge of making the decision isn't happy with the selection he's gotten. I was told informally by the person who is in charge of making the decision that he would like to hire me. I talked with my contracting company and was told that my current employer inside my company would have to okay it so as not to break a "No Poaching" rule. My current manager will not allow me to leave because she isn't sure that she would be allowed to replace me and isn't sure if she could replace me even if she was allowed to look for someone.
I am not being allowed to advance in my chosen career because of politics and bureaucracy. Not because there isn't a position. Not because there is someone better. Not because I'm not qualified. Not because someone doesn't want to hire me specifically. I'm not getting something that would be better for me and my company because of politics and bureaucracy.
I am upset.
May Eris curse their thumbs, cuss their thumbs, and crust their thumbs.
I am not being allowed to advance in my chosen career because of politics and bureaucracy. Not because there isn't a position. Not because there is someone better. Not because I'm not qualified. Not because someone doesn't want to hire me specifically. I'm not getting something that would be better for me and my company because of politics and bureaucracy.
I am upset.
May Eris curse their thumbs, cuss their thumbs, and crust their thumbs.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
License to print money
Go look at http://www.senseo.com/ and check out the products. I'd like to you read up and understand what their products are and what they do.
Do you understand what they are? I saw one of these machines at my work and it looked sleak and cool so i wanted to know more about it. I wrote the name of the device on my hand and, when I found a moment, looked it up. It's a coffee maker; you probably got that, but I can't tell why it's special. I thought it was an espresso maker, but nothing on the website leads me to believe that's true. I think it is just a coffee maker that instead of the normal drip method uses sub boiling water and a mild pressure. Okay so that does kinda sound like a espresso maker but the lack of high pressure still makes it coffee.
The thing that gets me is the base model of the maker is 70$! 70$ for a freaking coffee machine. So I thought to myself wow that is really expensive for a personal coffee machine; heck I've got a one cup maker that cost between 10$ and 15$. 70$ for a coffee maker that doesn't give me a blow job with my cup of coffee is so expensive that I'm surprised they sell and I wonder about the mental state of a person willing to pay that much for same.
The next bit is the "coffee pods". Thats the nice way of saying "coffee
grounds in a flat circular tea bag". There is every flavor in the rainbow. Every weird concoction you could possibly find at your local Four Bucks coffee chain. I looked at the price for those expecting that I might find a savings that would justify this non-blowjob giving 70$ coffee machine. If you figure the number of "pods" per bag for the price plus shipping and handeling you are still talking about 2$ for a cup of coffee. Madness! I looked at the cheap stuff; you know, basic black coffee flavored coffee, and that is still about 1.20$ + shipping and handeling.
What the crap is this. It's coffee. That's all it is. It is a staple. Why are their people who are willing to pay that much for coffee? I just don't get it.
Do you understand what they are? I saw one of these machines at my work and it looked sleak and cool so i wanted to know more about it. I wrote the name of the device on my hand and, when I found a moment, looked it up. It's a coffee maker; you probably got that, but I can't tell why it's special. I thought it was an espresso maker, but nothing on the website leads me to believe that's true. I think it is just a coffee maker that instead of the normal drip method uses sub boiling water and a mild pressure. Okay so that does kinda sound like a espresso maker but the lack of high pressure still makes it coffee.
The thing that gets me is the base model of the maker is 70$! 70$ for a freaking coffee machine. So I thought to myself wow that is really expensive for a personal coffee machine; heck I've got a one cup maker that cost between 10$ and 15$. 70$ for a coffee maker that doesn't give me a blow job with my cup of coffee is so expensive that I'm surprised they sell and I wonder about the mental state of a person willing to pay that much for same.
The next bit is the "coffee pods". Thats the nice way of saying "coffee
grounds in a flat circular tea bag". There is every flavor in the rainbow. Every weird concoction you could possibly find at your local Four Bucks coffee chain. I looked at the price for those expecting that I might find a savings that would justify this non-blowjob giving 70$ coffee machine. If you figure the number of "pods" per bag for the price plus shipping and handeling you are still talking about 2$ for a cup of coffee. Madness! I looked at the cheap stuff; you know, basic black coffee flavored coffee, and that is still about 1.20$ + shipping and handeling.
What the crap is this. It's coffee. That's all it is. It is a staple. Why are their people who are willing to pay that much for coffee? I just don't get it.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
A SERMON ON ETHICS AND LOVE
"One day Mal-2 asked the messenger spirit Saint Gulik to approach the Goddess and request Her presence for some desperate advice. Shortly afterwards the radio came on by itself, and an ethereal female Voice said
YES?
"O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of Chaos! Daughter of Discord! Concubine of Confusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a heavy burden from my heart!"
WHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON'T SOUND WELL.
"I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe."
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?
"But nobody Wants it! Everybody hates it."
OH. WELL, THEN STOP.
At which moment She turned herself into an aspirin commercial and left The Polyfather stranded alone with his species."
So starteth the reading from the Principia Discordia
All Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia! Aww Hail Yes!
YES?
"O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of Chaos! Daughter of Discord! Concubine of Confusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a heavy burden from my heart!"
WHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON'T SOUND WELL.
"I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe."
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?
"But nobody Wants it! Everybody hates it."
OH. WELL, THEN STOP.
At which moment She turned herself into an aspirin commercial and left The Polyfather stranded alone with his species."
So starteth the reading from the Principia Discordia
All Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia! Aww Hail Yes!
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Paper chain of though
All authority is based off the strength to enforce it. We are taught that might doesn't make right. So since might doesn't make right or preclude it, the strength of the authority should not be what we base our opinions of its moral or ethical value on. However no matter if an authority is right or wrong it is still based off strength and so is best avoided. Whoever the authority is they are most likely not you and, in being not you, will have differing opinions on right and wrong. If those opinions are too different you will end up fined, jailed, or dead. If you wish to be around people and wish to deal with an authority that is as close to you as possible then I suggest a commune that you control admission to. Other than that you must learn to deal with stupid cabbages, accept being arrest, fined, jailed or deaded, or accept living by yourself on a mountain far away.
Particularly pesky parts persuaded to perform perfectly
My iPod died. Specifically the hard drive in my iPod died. All it does now is make clicking noises. So after I drowned my sorrows in beer, and well after I tried everything I could think of to get it to work again, I started looking into how I could repair it. Thankfully the Internet provided a wealth of instructional material. Now all I have to do is buy the replacement hard drive, very carefully open the case on theiPod , swap the drive, put it back together again, and configure it. In doing this I can even get a bigger hard drive, by capacity not size, than was initially installed.
The point of this blerb is to point out one of the reasons I like technology and my grasp over it compared to other people. A normal cabbage (non-thinking person) might lament the failing of his toy and go buy a new one for quite a lot of money. An almost not cabbage might try to get his toy fixed for slightly less than the previous cabbage. But they will ignore the possibility that they themselves could fix their toy on their own and that while they were at it they could upgrade their toy to an even better toy. I love that technology can rise to meet my needs. I love that the only thing really standing in my way to whatever I want is a smallmodicum of money, some thought and effort. It makes me wonder if the other things work that way too.
How perfect would the world be if a small amount of money, though, and effort were all that you needed to get what you wanted? What if the world is that way already?
The point of this blerb is to point out one of the reasons I like technology and my grasp over it compared to other people. A normal cabbage (non-thinking person) might lament the failing of his toy and go buy a new one for quite a lot of money. An almost not cabbage might try to get his toy fixed for slightly less than the previous cabbage. But they will ignore the possibility that they themselves could fix their toy on their own and that while they were at it they could upgrade their toy to an even better toy. I love that technology can rise to meet my needs. I love that the only thing really standing in my way to whatever I want is a smallmodicum of money, some thought and effort. It makes me wonder if the other things work that way too.
How perfect would the world be if a small amount of money, though, and effort were all that you needed to get what you wanted? What if the world is that way already?
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