Monday, June 26, 2017

not so wild west

last night was strange. western civilization had collapsed I'm not sure why. There wasn't gas for cars, trucks, or airplanes so travel was greatly restricted. Everything had a more wild west settler vibe to it. I was a traveling tinker. I went from town to town fixing things and teaching people how to get by without abundant electric. I took scrap metal and melted it down and refined it so it could be cast and shaped to replace broken parts. I would pay people with work for things I needed and traded when I could. I also brought news and maps. There wasn't much else to it.

Saturday, June 24, 2017

worst job ever; a dream

I was the caretaker for dark souls 3. I did all the repairs and upkeep. Made sure the crystal lizards got exercise so they'd be fast, filed down the giant crystal monsters so they wouldn't get in their own way, maintained all the switches/levers/elevators, restocked ammo for all the giant archers, replaced boxes/barrels that people kept rolling though, played fetch with the horrible monster dogs, fed the dragons, got employee of the month for figuring out how to only light the candles and torches when someone was around which saved a bunch of money, general repairs/disrepairs for buildings, etc ..

generic batman ripoff

I had discovered that fellow billionaire Bruce Wayne was batman and I wanted to do that too only I saw it more like a hobby and didn't go out much. I mostly used it as an excuse to build a secret mancave in my mansion, buy some fancy cars, and do parkour across the city for exercise. I "fought" against a villain that was one part Joker and one part Riddle called the Giggler. We "fought" by him leaving geocaches of jokes and puns that were clues to the next spot like a scavenger hunt. If i completed them all in a set time and found him he'd take me to lunch and if i didn't find him in time i'd take him to lunch.

a dream; an army of blond assassins

I was a spy but not a very good one. I by dumb luck alone intercepted an important code; something that was going to change the nature of espionage forever. unfortunately in was destroyed and now my memory was the only record of it. With as much stealth and careful planning as I could muster I made contact with my organization and asked to be brought in. We were to meet up in a hotel district in europe. I thought this was a terrible idea given that there would be so many people around and we'd never be able to tell if there where bad guys. my organization felt this was perfectly fine and that it was good enough for me. We had a small little apartment on the first floor with a broken ice maker. Without ice it was hot and uncomfortable and I kept asking my handler to go and get more ice from the maker three buildings over. My handler eventually refused and told me that if I wanted ice I could get it myself. I made several trips, each time my paranoia growing a little. I bumped into a blonde with a ski bag that could have easily held weapons. The way she reacted told me that the encounter was staged and she was testing me. I scurried away, got ice, and hid. Another trip and I could swear I was being watched. The roofs had bird watchers on them only one per building but all blond and not really looking for bird. The were in perfect sniper positions. I ran back to my handler and thought I heard a gun shot though it could have been a car back fire. I warned my handler and he dismissed it as paranoia. Another running scene with me moving from cover to cover to retrieve ice and as I returned to the apartment there was a large bunch of blondes so similar in appearance and clothes that they looked like copies of each other. They seemed like they were all part of a biathlon team. They were listening to a matron give a short speech. It sounded like a request for them to behave themselves but if you listened right it also sounded like instructions to comb the area looking for someone. They were gonna be staying in an apartment one floor up and half a hallway down from me. I slowly walked by them and slipped into my apartment. I was losing my mind with terror. They were going to find me and torture me for the information. My handler eventually shut me in my room so he didn't have to listen to my fearful gibbering. I heard a barking. It was the matrons little dog yapping at our door. My handler opened the door to see what was up and the dog ran in and darted under a couch. The matron apologized and called for her dog to come out. She kept up a litany of apologies and complaints about travel and the weather and her little dog in a calm smooth motherly voice while the handler busied himself trying to get the elusive dog out from under the couch. She was scanning the room during this getting as much info as possible from the room. The dog burst out from the couch and ran straight to my door and started sniffing at the gap between it and the floor. It barked in its little yappy way and scratched at the door. The matron swooped in and picked up the dog. The body guard asked her to leave and she made polite noises and thank yous. After she was gone the bodyguard checked my room but the window was open and I was gone.