Friday, December 28, 2007

I'm a Heratic

I have committed heresy.  I have defaced an image of Eris.

Eris defacedEris with a face

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Another MindFuck

1. go to a park with a friend.
2. hold a paper "Finish" tape across a path.
3. urge people to run though it.
4. Don't explain even if they run through the tape.


I understand now

I've heard Jews commiserate about Christmas time out shining Hanukkah and being so pervasive that they can't get away from it. I didn't really think about it but having just gone through Christmas and not being a christian I think I can understand. There is this sense that they are unknowingly shoving their religion down your throat. I find the fervor with which some  pray disconcerting if not disturbing.  Some seem to include me along with their prayer as in "God, we all hope that you will ..." or "Thank you so much for <variable> us". I find it difficult not to speak up and express myself but I think in some places it might get me lynched.  "Actually I'm not sure God did anything for me regarding that and I'm certain that we brought ourselves together with out any divine aide" might just be recorded as my last words.

It kinda gives me this dead feeling inside like "Oh we're praying again are we?". I understand why they do it if it brings them comfort but that level of dependence says something about a person. It's just creepy.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Who are Ron Paul Supporters?

I'm a 29 year old Systems Administrator from Kentucky with a Computer Science degree from UK. I'm single and not any particular religion. I was a registered Democrat but switched to Republican so I could vote in the primaries for Ron Paul.

I'm concerned that well financed special interests will lobby for more laws eroding freedom, that we will lose our sovereignty to foreign governments like the UN, that socialization of necessary services will bankrupt the lower and middle classes, and that our fiat money system is headed toward collapse making this country weak.

I've donated $400 to Ron Paul in the hopes that he will remove the laws that are preventing people from governing themselves. I want to make the choice as to how my money is spent and who gets it. I'm tired of lying politicians scaring people into giving away my freedom for the illusion of their safety. I want what everyone of us wanted when we were teenagers; to be responsible for myself and free to make my own decisions. I want to live my life the way I want to not how people who don't know me want me to.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Todays thought

"Contrary to popular belief there ARE enough hours in the day; you just have to steal them from the night"

Sunday, December 16, 2007

A civilized city once again.

You can now buy booze on Sunday in Lexington.  The law has taken effect, and strangely enough I haven't molested anyone, gotten in a fight, or run anyone over as is mostly likely expected by the Pro-Christians and MADD people.

Ron Paul!

Well Ron Paul made it.  He was driving to get 12$ for the 4th quarter.  He is at 15.3 mill as of now. Ron has more 100,000 individual donors; thats more than the other Republicans individually. I think this gives us the lead in money on hand, including those self financed rich guys.  That really gives me hope.

No matter what happens I'm going to vote for Ron, but news like this actually makes me think we might do it.

Iowa's primary is 18 days away.  New Hampshire's is 23. I encourage everyone who reads this to register republican as soon as you can so that if you have a closed primary you can actually Vote for Ron Paul in the Primary.

Woo Hoo!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

New phrases

My head has a tummy ache. Best way to say you have a hangover

Monday, December 10, 2007

Please donate money to Ron Paul

December 16th, an anniversary of the Boston Tea Party,  there is going to be a mass donation; a Money Bomb, donated to Ron Pauls organization. At the time of this post there are more than 27 thousand other people who are pledging to donate 100$ to Ron Pauls campaign to become President.  2.7 million dollars in one day.  This will also be enough to push us over Ron Pauls request for 12 million dollars in 3 months.

This is similar to the push that was organized on November 5th that raised 4.3 million dollars for Ron Paul

There are people out there that don't believe that Ron Paul is going to make it but I would ask them how many of the other candidates have followers that are this devoted to what they believe in?

I really want Ron Paul to win because I really believe in his platform.  I don't understand how people can't.  He wants to follow the document that every American should hold dear; The Constitution.  He wants to make sure that the American dollar grows in strength. He wants us to quit funding a war that was never approved by congress and isn't what the American people want. How can people not be behind that. It is these kinds of Grassroots organizations that make me feel that the concepts that this country was founded on are still alive.

Furthermore I lack faith in the other candidates to do what I want, not do what I don't want, or to keep to the things that they say that I like.

I'm scared.  I'm scared about the way that this country is going. I'm really worried about my future; not about my own actions but the actions of others that will effect me. I think this country is going down a very bad road.  I'm worried that the actions of our politicians are going to really hurt us.  I'm also worried about the political awareness of the average person.  I think things like this are very important and I don't feel that people really care enough about them.

I wish I wasn't afraid.

I think Ron Paul will fix a number of things that I'm scared of. I'm voting for Ron Paul.  I hope that you will join the Republican party to vote for him in the primary and then again in the election if he wins the Primary.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Ordination mix up

So apparently the organization from which I received my ordination split from the official church some time back and I'm uncertain if I was ordained before or after.  On the upside I've not actually presided over anything in a legal aspect.  On the downside I'm not certain if I'm legally ordained and I have been saying I was.

S'all sorted now.  I've reapplied.  The ULC will be sending me something official in a couple days and everything will be the way it should.

Monday, November 26, 2007

I Can't Fucking Beleive It!

What the fuck! We can't trade gold and silver now! We aren't allowed to barter commodities! I am speechless! What the Hell!?

Strange song lyrics from my childhood


Saturday, November 17, 2007


It is impossible in my opinion that the authorities can make an airport or airplanes safe so all the security is pointless.  I am unwilling to deal with the invasion of my privacy and the animosity of airport security any longer.

Well I've decided.  Until this whole airport security retardism is over I'm not flying anymore.  I'm going to boycott all airlines.

This is going to put a crimp in my plans for Hawaii but you gotta make sacrifices sometimes.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

My imaginary friend already beat your imaginary friend up.

No text to this one.  It's selfexplanatory. Thou the true intellectual will have some problems with it.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Kinda funny even if you don't believe in God or Satan

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

I feel sullied in unusual ways

I'm going to have to drink the cool-aid. I've been avoiding it thinking maybe I could get on the mothership by climbing on through the landing gear. I was wrong.

I'm going to have to learn VBScript.


Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Still don't know how to feel

Ed Brown and his wife, the Tax evaders from the Northeast, have been arrested. The cops who  subdued Andrew "Don't Tase me, Bro!" Meyer's have been cleared of any charges. I really don't know how to feel. Where is that imaginary line between oppression and reasonable law enforcement? At what point will we remember that this country was founded by rebels? When is it right? When is it wrong?

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Evil Bastardry

At what point do you, having realized that you are a deviously insane evil bastard, slit your own throat to prevent you from ruling every cretinous dip-shit that dare walk your planet?

Do others see the world of possibilities that exist out there; the little lines of influence and control, or are their eyes clouded? Do they refuse to see?

A twitch here and a tug there and the whole world spins a different way.

I love playing Vampire.  Intelligence, problem solving, social manipulation, conspiracy, story telling, deceit, back stabbing, and vast amounts of gut wrenching bastardry leading to the enjoyment of all. The only downside is that it leaves me giggling maniacally to myself late at night when these horribly wicked and brain hurting ideas come to me. Though I do enjoy them. }:)

Friday, October 12, 2007


Am I a bad American for being happy that an Organization in Turkey is protesting the US's decision that they committed genocide back during WWI? Am I no longer a patriot for want more people in more countries to Unify against America? Am I bad person for believing that we need to be smacked down for the shit that we've been doing?

Why can't we leave everyone alone?

I want the responsibility and I want the awareness, but I guess I miss the blissful ignorance of my childhood

Friday, October 5, 2007

A scream of rage

You live in a free country.  You can do anything you want.  You're free.  Now if you'll excuse us we are going to go make a lot of rules that prevent you from expressing that freedom.

If you wish to vote for Ron Paul (or in fact any candidate of your choice) you best make sure you are registered as their party if you live in a closed state. Please make sure of the rules your state has about how to vote so that you know that you will be able to vote for who you like.  I can only imagine how viciously angry I would be if I got to the booth and couldn't vote for who I wanted to.

But that's not why I'm writing this.  I get very down-trodden about this countries political system and how things are done.  I feel helpless and alone and unable to control my own destiny. I lament the way things are and wish that they were different.

By that I mean I want things my own way. Yes I realize that is horribly selfish but I can't imagine that you don't want it your way. I feel the only fair way is to break up into small communities so that like minded people can have the laws they want but I can't imagine how much bureaucracy that would require.

So bitter.  So angry.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

We made it.

Ron Paul asked for $500,000. Last I checked they were at 1.1 mil. We made our mark and passed it. I hope that we win.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Hope is a horrible bitch most of the time

I hope that Ron Paul wins. I hope that people read this site and go to and see why I like him as a candidate. I hope people donate to express how much they want him to win. I hope people talk to their friends about politics and what they want in a candidate. I hope people really look at their government and decide for themselves if this is how they want to run things.

If you want Ron Paul to be president and you are serious about it do something about. Do things on your own time; make signs, talk to your friends, read up about whats going on, use the internet to make your voice heard best you can, call people, VOTE, put your money where your mouth is. I did.


Thursday, September 20, 2007


Okay so on one side we have a loud mouth rude jerk who is known to be an attention seeking grab ass and on the other we have multiple cops who taser a kid who is unarmed and not attacking.

I think the kid was being a shit. I think that the multiple cops could have just carried his dumb ass out of there. I think tasering him, after I'm given to understand he was trying to get out on his own terms, was too much. (don't they teach cops hand to hand anymore)

From what I heard tasers really freakin' hurt.

I'd don't know. Part of me wants to be outraged, part of me is scared about how much force police use and the implications that any one who shows disobedience is beat down and electrocuted, part of me understands that cops ought to protect themselves and that I don't know what force is necessary vrs. what is excessive.

It seems to me that the taser was too much but I'm not sure how too far it was.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Why do they come to me to die.

I love the vampire larp.  Not so much because of who is there; though we do have some stellar players. I love watching the social patterns. Who talks to who and how an idea or an event enters the public mindspace or doesn't.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

News to me

It is very weird hearing that you've died. I feel fine but somehow the news media is convinced that I died Sunday the 29th; age 71. I would like to tell the world at large that Tom Snyder, 29, is fit as a fiddle and living happily in Lexington KY. Rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated.

Don't know how to feel here.

Steven Colbert made a reference to the Apple of Discord and the Original Snub. Below is the video that contains it (its at the end). A mainstream comedian makes a joke on a popular show and a few people in the audience laugh. The three-ish people who got it aren't what weirds me out; it's that the joke was deemed worthy of the show and was made. I wish I had been there to yell "Hail Eris!".

Friday, July 20, 2007

Evil Masterminds at Work! Caution!

Well work has gotten interesting. I think I've gotten my friend Gene a job at Lexmark. I think I've gotten my friend Casey a job at Lexmark if he wants it. I am going to be getting a new job there also. I talk to a person here, I talk to a person there, and suddenly everything I've been working towards for months happens right now. We'll see how this plays out with my trip to Thailand. Everything is going to be crazy and difficult but from chaos and hard work comes vast riches if a Discordian knows his way around a whelk.

Hail Eris; that crazy bitch!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

You're Broke. You just don't know it yet.

"The abandonment of the gold standard made it possible for the welfare statists to use the banking system as a means to an unlimited expansion of credit.... In the absence of the gold standard, there is no way to protect savings from confiscation through inflation. There is no safe store of value.... Deficit spending is simply a scheme for the "hidden" confiscation of wealth.... [Gold] stands as a protector of property rights."
"This is the shabby secret of the welfare statists' tirades against gold. Deficit spending is simply a scheme for the "hidden" confiscation of wealth. Gold stands in the way of this insidious process. It stands as a protector of property rights. If one grasps this, one has no difficulty in understanding the statists' antagonism toward the gold standard."

Well I've almost complete converted over to a nut bar isolationist.  I want to buy a gun and convert my money over to the Liberty Dollar. I'm scared that my world and the things I love in it are on an inevitable slide down into the shitter and there isn't anything I can do about it. I see problems but I don't know how to fix them that won't be as painful as allowing them to fall over.

Help. I don't know what to do.

Friday, July 13, 2007

What I'd have meant.

GW Bush told the terrorists to Bring it. I can actually agree with that though I choose to believe it means something different than he did.  I agree with Bring it; Bring it Here.  Come fight us here, on our soil, away from your support structure.  Thank you for showing us how we were weak and complacent; I'm pretty certain that there isn't another plane full of people who will comply with a terrorist.

My problem is that along with the solution; waking Americans up, we've also stripped away a lot of rights and are doing a lot of expensive things that are positively mass producing bad guys.

Apologies. Admit failure. Leave.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

A very scary book.

Freedom Under Siege by Ron Paul

If this is accurate and fair things are worse than I thought

Todays critical thought about Ron Paul

Is Ron selling me fear from a direction I am more willing to accept? At what point does informing a person of the hideous place they inhabit switch from information to terrorizing? Is the Government as fucked up as I’m being told? How can I trust the people I’ve learn to distrust?


One of the faults that I believe I have is that I have a tendency to self-indoctrinate. I probably wouldn’t trust someone else trying to convince me of something but I am willing to listen to myself; both good and bad.  I find something that I believe very strongly in and use that belief to help me ignore faults in the thing. I don’t mean to do this and I’m not sure how to correct it. My only certainty is that this is bad and needs correcting.


It is for this reason that I need people to give me their honest views on my beliefs so that I can try to determine the validity of their argument and the validity of mine.


Towards that end I have to say that I am pro-choice.  I do not consider an unborn baby a person; they are unborn. It is my belief that a fetus is closer to a parasite than a person.


Those being my beliefs I have to say I disagree with Ron Paul and his platform of Pro-Life. As I do not consider a fetus a person, I am concerned that Ron Paul is not for protecting my ability to choose.


That being said I feel that his specific wording is that he doesn’t think the federal government should support abortions or rule on the legality of them; both things I can get behind. He would have that turned over to the States.  That means that I would have the ability to go to a state that supports my belief in the freedom of choice and would allow “me” to have an abortion of an unwanted fetus.

Monday, July 9, 2007

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Critisim of Ron Paul that I like

Friday, July 6, 2007

God I'm tired

If everything in my life wouldn't turn into shit were I to do so, I'd like to go away for a month. Just sort of check out of existence for a bit. No work, no responsibilities, no human interaction; maybe just a feeding tube, a pooping tube, and sensory deprivation tank. What do you do when you have to work so hard to have fun that the fun itself doesn't seem worth it.

I want a hammock, a cool glass of sweet mint tea, a good blanket, and a nap; and if the gods are listening someone cute and feminine to curl up with me.

God I'm tired

Thursday, July 5, 2007


The Roommate has lit a fire under my ass about the apartment. Our lease has run out and we are going to sign a 3 or 4 month lease but after that he is moving out.  There isn't a grivence that caused this; he just wants to quit pissing money away in rent.  I don't blame him and he has a good point. He is talking about getting a house and has made an invitation to me and another friend of ours but I'm hesitant because it's a major decision. I don't have much time; three months isn't enough for me, but I don't have much choice.

I HATE moving.  I like it here. I don't want to leave.

crap crap crap

Sunday, May 27, 2007

The fox's offering is taken at 5.

I have found the place where one can see the Erisian mysteries, and perhaps the face of Goddess herself, on the world wide web, and I am here to tell my pilgrims how they can have the same revelation.

First, you must have a Google account (who doesn't these days). Not neccessarily a GMail account, just a generic Google account. You know, the account that let's Google track every search you submit, every web page you visit, which restaurants you go too, what your breakfast was this morning, etc. Then, set up your individualized Google page, so that they can learn even more about your preferences. Finally, change the theme to Tea Room. Now you too may witness the glories of Goddess as she accepts an offering from her tiny, two-dimensional vulpine worshiper at the holy hour.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Here is the Secret News

All people are afraid. No one knows what they're doing. Everything is getting worse. Some people deserve to die. Your money is worthless. No one is properly dressed. At least one of your children will disappoint you. The system is rigged. Your house will never be completely clean. All teachers are incompetent. There are people who really dislike you. Nothing is as good as it seems. Things don't last. No one is paying attention. The country is dying. God doesn't care.

In lighter news:
Everything will work out in the end. You don't have any reason to worry. You don't need to be rich. Nothing is as bad as it seems. There are people who genuinely love you. You are free to be your own person. Only you can make yourself do anything.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

How might a Discordian celebrate holidays?

I am wondering, at this moment, if I have a constitutionally protected right to dress like a pirate at work every September 29th? After all, it's part of my religion, and freedom of religious expression is a constitutionally protected right. Therefore, given that it is part of my religion to talk, and dress, like a pirate on International Talk Like a Pirate Day, should I not be allowed to dress and talk like a pirate at work?

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Zombie Enlightenment

I can feel them chewing on my arms and legs with bloody mouths full of broken teeth; ripping into the soft unprotected flesh of my pale underbelly.  I thought zombies were after your brains and here they are fighting to gorge themselves on my extremities and viscera. I had never thought of it before but I guessed that I would be dead while I was being eaten. Oh I knew there would be the initial unpleasantness but I had really thought all that would be over quickly as they cracked open my head to get at my brain. It seems unimportant now. Ha.  Pretty much everything seems unimportant now. I guess that means I've reached stage 5;acceptance. I'm going to die, here and now, because there are zombies eating me alive and there is nothing I can do about it. For some reason I think I ought to be mad but now that shock has set in and I know I can't do anything about it, it doesn't even really hurt. In fact it just feels weird. I really don't think a human is meant to feel his internal organs being manhandled like this. It has to be the strangest sensation I've ever experienced and watching it makes it stranger. Why can't I get angry? It's like I can't find anything to get angry about. This isn't any ones fault. The government can't be expected to protect us from something like this. I can't be expected to be able to defend myself against this. I can't even blame the zombies; they don't seem to have any more intelligence then a starved dog. I guess things happen. I wonder why I feel I should be angry.; maybe thats a better question. On the upside this ought to be over soon and then I can get on with things.  Well not exactly but I can find out the big mystery. I'll get to find out what happens next.  I guess if I am going to think about this I ought to think positively.  I'm getting sleepy. Finally. Ha and now I remember that Simon and Garfunkel song; "Hello darkness, my old friend, I've come to talk to you again". What an absurd thing to think about just before you ...

Monday, May 14, 2007






I am the erisian mystery. My birth was marked by an earthquake. Today is my birthday and it is my last birthday. I am now 29 forever. Next year it is 29 part 2. Year after that 29 part 3 and so on.

I am mortal and I don't care. I will live how I want to and that is that. The only thing I can promise is that I will try to not hurt anyone as I come partying through.

Make your mark on this world now and live a life with no regrets. Hate never brought me happiness. Keep learning.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Things to know

Office John Lamb, the man responsible for killing Rachel A Burns; my friend, retired from the Lexington Police Force on 2/9/2005 according to Lexington’s 2005 Annual Report.  Thankfully this man is no longer a police officer though I believe he ought to be in jail.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

This one is mine

Left and right are subjective. The proof of this is that they are completely different if you turn around. Not just in one plane but in all; up, down, forward and backward are also subjective. Go beyond that to a mental realm with no physical directions. Left wing, right wing, Christian, Atheist, nation, race, species; they are all a form of left and right and they are all subjective.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Quotey quotes

If a blanket is natures heater then my pants are natures napkin.

I find Nihilism to be a peice of crap but thats because I find rainbows pretty.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Police State

Just remember boys and girls the state can do anything it wants to you. They have guns and that means authority. Might doesn't make right but it does make authority. Your opinion doesn't matter. What you want doesn't matter. They aren't interested in listening to you. It doesn't matter if you didn't hurt someone; if you could have hurt someone they will have a rule that says you're a criminal. They make rules and don't consult you. You are not in charge of your future. There is no justice there is just laws.

Monday, April 23, 2007

One more thing to tell people

I am now an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church. They authorize me to start my own church if I want to. I hear by declare that the whole world is my church; that all ground is holy or none of it is, that I am not a Discordian and I won't proclaim Discordian catma whenever and wherever I best deem it, and that I want everyone to be happy. Eat, drink and be merry my friends for its a hell of a way to live.

Hail Eris! Hail Discordia!

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Cheerful Reflections on Death and Dying

Robert Anton Wilson

I don't understand why people fear death -- although of course I see good reasons to fear the process of dying. Dying often involves a great deal of prolonged pain, and in this country at least may drain your life savings into the bank accounts of the A.M.A.. Both prospects seem equally terrifying especially if you hoped to leave a decent estate to your children.One can avoid these deplorable conditions, however, by moving to a civilized country with a national health plan and legal help to assist you in suicide if you have reached a condition where you can't do it yourself. I personally intend to move to Nederland in the event that a painful, expensive and prolonged death seems inescapable. The medical banditos have made enough money out of me already; I refuse to enrich them further on my way out.

But as for death, and what -- if anything --comes after death, I see no cause for apprehension whatsoever.

To consider the alternatives in order:Most people through most of history have believed that after death comes rebirth (reincarnation). I think most people, planetwide, still believe that. It fails to terrify me. If I get reborn as a cockroach, I intend to hide in the vicinity of somebody's computer and write poems on the keyboard at night, like archy, the famous roach who left his verse in the typewriter of Don Marquis. If I get reborn as a human, I might meet my wife Arlen again and love her again and marry her again. That sounds great to me.

Other rebirths, as a tree, say, or a blue whale, also seem more entertaining (and educational) than frightening.

Unfortunately, I have no good reasons to believe in reincaration, although I'd sort of like to. I include it only for the sake of completeness.

A sinister rumor, widely believed in the Occident, holds that after death we go to a place called Heaven. From all the descriptions I've read, it sounds dreadful to me. It seems to have a population made up entirely of some gang of Christians; the experts on Heaven disagree about which conglomeration of Christians will qualify, but they always seem to think that they personally belong to that elite group. An eternity with people that conceited seems intolerable to me,but fortunately I am not a Christian so I won't be consigned to such a boring place.

An even more nefarious report appears in the United States Marine Corps hymn:

If the Army and the Navy
ever looked on Heaven's scenes
they would find the streets were guarded
by the United States Marines

A place where every street is guarded by Marines sounds like a particularly vicious police state, especially if Christians run it, and I definitely don't want to go there, even for a visit. I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy, if I had any enemies. (Some people hate me for the books I write, but I refuse to hate them back, so they don't count as enemies.)

Fortunately, as noted, I don't qualify for Heaven, with all its harps and fanatic Christians and martial law by Marines. A worse idea, which has terrified millions, claims that some of us will go to a place called Hell, where we will suffer eternal torture. This does not scare me because, when I try to imagine a Mind behind this universe, I cannot conceive that Mind, usually called "God," as totally mad.

I mean, guys, compare that "God" with the worst monsters you can think of - - Adolph Hitler, Joe Stalin, that sort of guy. None of them ever inflicted more than finite pain on their victims. Even de Sade, in his sado-maso fantasy novels, never devised an unlimited torture. The idea that the Mind of Creation (if such exists) wants to torture some of its critters for endless infinities of infinities seems too absurd to take seriously.

Such a derranged Mind could not create a mud hut, much less the exquisitely mathematical universe around us.

If such a monster-God did exist, the sane attitude would consist of practising the Buddhist virtue of compassion. He seems very sick in His head, so don't give way to hatred: try to understand and forgive him. Maybe He will recover his wits some day. (I wrote "He" instead of the fashionable "He or She" because only male Gods appear to have invented Hells. I can't think of a single Goddess who ever created a Hell for people who displeased Her .)

A fourth alternative after-death scenario involves merger with "God" or with "the Godhead" (the latter term seems more popular.) This idea, which seems Hindic in origin, currently enjoys vast popularity with New Agers. I see nothing terrifying here; in fact, I suspect I would enjoy it, based on my previous experiences in which this merging/melting seemed to take place on LSD. An infinite Acid Trip in which the whole universe seems like your body: who could fear that (except Republicans)?

The fifth and, as far as I know, the last thinkable alternative holds that after death comes total oblivion. This has either terrorized or angered many intelligent writers (e.g. Bertrand Russell and Jean Paul Sartre, who seem to have hated "life after death" for not existing, just as they remained permanently pissed off at "God" for not existing. ) Sorry: it doesn't seem terrible to me at all. If I become totally oblivious, I won't know about it (by definition of oblivion.) How can you feel terrified of something you can't experience?

Besides oblivion means freedom from "all the ills the flesh is heir to," from bleeding piles to cancer, including even bad reviews of my books.

Living in New York or Los Angeles seem much worse than not living in Oblivion.

Although I have a few opinions, or hunches, I have no dogma about what happens after death. But none of the above alternatives seem really unpleasant, except the ones that seem too absurd to take seriously.

As some Roman wrote:

Nothing to clutch in life.
Nothing to fear in death.

Copyright: Robert Anton Wilson

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Scary scary

I wonder how long before gun control laws tighten down now thanks to the Virgina Tech shootings. Are we going to be scared into giving away more freedoms? Gods help those fools see that there is no reason to be scared. What happened was horrible and it can't be made better but it can be made worse by how it is handled.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Just because you are a hairless ape, that does not mean you are a Man

I was given reason to enter a white hot frothing rage today as instructions that I laid down clearly became corrupted not once, not twice but at least three times because the people who were responsible, or irresponsible in their turn, could not be bothered to do their own jobs and let me do mine.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Seed the Chaos Generator (c CDC)

Hunt the jesus fish; they walk on water
Seek the darwin fish; they can fly now
Beware the buddah fish; it won't eat you
Hug the muslum fish; they are in season
But when roaming in the pasture
It won't be done any faster
Than the Fish that we call Hastur
Weedle weedle weedle scumph

The jesus fish is really quick because it followes Nike
The buddah fish is pretty fast because it's mastered Tai Chi
The muslum fish it isn't slow because it invented zero
The darwin fish is super sonic, I love it in my gyros
But when roaming in the pasture
It won't be done any faster
Than the Fish that we call Hastur
Weedle weedle weedle scumph

How much trouble must a man get in before he can call himself a man.
I want to get two white boards and label them Good Users and Bad Users and keep track of the cusomers that come to me with their problems. Aneristic assholes will end up on the Bad list and Eristic philosophers on the good. I wonder how long before someone complains and I have to take them down. I wonder how much trouble I'd get in with the greyfaced cabbages that run my exercise wheel. OOOOOOO what if I just labeled them both users and didn't tell people which one was which. If I treat them the same they'd only wonder. Ooo I like it.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

I can't fix everything

There are some things I can't fix. I don't have the know-how or the tools or both. Sometimes a problem doesn't want to get fixed. Imagine a sentient wheel that keeps on squeaking so that it can keep getting oil even if it doesn't need oil and everyone around the wheel is out of oil. Okay so it's not a wheel that is my problem but the situation is similar. What is one to do when the going not only gets tough but the people around you are quitting and even the road wants to stop.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

A creative soul

In the world of slash and burn management anything that requires time or money is thought of as economically unviable. I really like the phrase slash and burn management; the mental images appeal to me. A back drop of a rain forest on fire.  Developers running from the line of flaming bladed death and the result is a barren wasteland. Fire light reflecting off the red piggy eyes of greedy business men as they sweat in the heat of the burning tomorrow.

A creative soul is my only refuge; to look deep into myself and let loose any feeling I find in there; to use the unbridled passions of my heart to forge my world and myself, and to learn of these passions in other people.

Monday, March 26, 2007

gotta remeber the good book

The Apocrypha Discordia that is.

In times of personal strife I like to remember the Gospel of St. Pesher the Gardener.

I suggest you read it next time you end up some where boring; church, work, jail, you know, where ever

Friday, March 16, 2007

There's no earthly way of knowing ...

Which direction we are going
There's no knowing where we're rowing
Or which way the river's flowing

Is it raining, is it snowing
Is a hurricane a–blowing

Not a speck of light is showing
So the danger must be growing
Are the fires of Hell a–glowing
Is the grisly reaper mowing

Yes, the danger must be growing
For the rowers keep on rowing
And they're certainly not showing
Any signs that they are slowing

I'm angry at what my government is doing. I disagree with the foreign policy that my country is putting forth. I encourage anyone who reads this to look, critically, at the Government and what it does. I hope that you the reader will believe as I do that this administration should not be in charge. I believe them to be criminals, incompetents or both. I believe the practices of this administration are immoral even if they can be justified by law. I feel that we need to cut the power of the federal government. Too much power has been put into the hands of too few. The checks and balance system that we were all taught in public school is being manipulated so that won’t do the job that it was intended to do. Bush is replacing people who oppose him with people who are loyal followers. We are coming to see that the people who have stood for the president, who have admitted faults and claimed responsibility for mistakes, are not going to see punishment. So many things are wrong and I see no way to fix them but to ask others to think about what has happen and share my opinions with them.

I will not tell you what is right; only you can do that, I will only tell you what I think. You can feel free to challenge my beliefs or ignore me; it’s your choice.

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Cowardice, Hypocrisy, Professionalism and the Death of Pride

Lewis Black; a man who constantly slams the government and important political notables, was asked to perform for the Congressional Correspondent’s Dinner; one of the two biggest social/political events held in Washington DC every year and attended by some of the biggest names in politics. Lewis Black's performances are usually full profanity, opinions about political screw ups, and nostalgic moments of a more American America. Lewis was told that he couldn't swear, couldn't bash the President (who was scheduled to attend), and needed to make the performance palatable to the DC, right-wing, pro-christian audience (Lewis is Jewish). After considering it and getting advice about it Lewis decided to take the job and do his act after modifying it heavily. I believe that must have been monumentally difficult for a man who punctuates sentences with the word fuck and rants nearly psychotically about politics and politicians. I have to commend that because it really does say something to care about your audience, as a performer, to drastically change your act so that they can enjoy it. That shows Professionalism; to judge your customers and make sacrifices to make them happy.

I would like to say that I also feel that given his normal material that he is a coward for not going on with his normal act. He had an opportunity to tell them, in the way he tells thousands of others, that he is angry with the decisions they make. He had the floor and instead of sticking to what he believes he rolled over and changed his act to please the very people he hates. That’s cowardice. It’s hypocritical. It’s shameful.

The only reason that I can’t say that I think Lewis ought to be beat black and blue with his own belt is that I don’t know if I would have had the strength to practice what I preach. I would like to think that I would have told the coordinator that called me that there was no way I was going to sacrifice my integrity to pander to a bunch of self-important assholes. I would like to think I would have happily accepted the job with the forewarning that I was going to do my act the way I wanted and that, since the President was going to be sitting right next to me, I would be telling him to his face in front of all the Congressional Correspondents exactly what I thought of him.

I would like to think that I would stand up for my beliefs and that if they foolishly gave me the floor I would use it to do what I always do when the opportunity arises; express myself. But I don’t know. I’ve never had my beliefs tested that thoroughly. I can’t say what I would do in that exact situation because that would be the hardest test of my life, but I can say that Lewis Black failed.

Lewis, you're still funny, but you are a hypocritical coward.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Thats something I need to remember

"Polytheism is democracy, Monotheism a dictatorship, even in its psudo-secular form"

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

This I want

I want to be paid to eat, drink, and be merry. I would love to have someone pay me to eat their food and comment on how they got things done. I am going to look into culinary academies and the books so that maybe I might be able to one day call myself a learned man in the food world. Its a nice dream.

eat to live. live to eat.

Right and Wrong

I believe killing people is wrong no matter what; even if they are some unholy union of Hitler, Ted Bundy, and Jeffery Dahmer. However, I believe it is more wrong to allow certain people to live if you can help it; like the afor mentioned people. That doesn't make killing them right, it is still wrong, but it does need to be done. I don't want to kill people but there are some people who I wouldn't mind seeing dead. At what point do you give up, grab a rifle, and solve the problem yourself.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Analyze This

I had a dream the other day where my Uncle told me I have to go fight an army of undead gerkin vampires. It was a tiresome chore but I reluctantly agreed. They had little bat wings and stick figure arms and legs and carried little pickle forks. As wave after wave of their diminutive green bodies flapped towards me I slashed at them with a fish; a salmon or a haddock or something, something that went good with relish. Soon I was surrounded by the bodies of the fallen and bled from many tiny puncture wounds which the Gerkins acidic juices stung. I went back inside the straw roofed house of my ancesters and had a grill cheese sandwich and went to sleep.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Can we prove, philosophically, the existence of God?

This is something I've been thinking about today: can we, in a philosophical sense, prove the existence or non-existence of God?  It is my conclusion that we cannot, the existence or non-existence of God must come as an assumption, upon which further arguments may be built.

My reasoning is currently based on the central tenent of the modern, protestant christian religion, as I understand it.  The basic rule is that to be saved, per christian doctrine, one must choose to accept Jesus as one's own personal savior.  In essence, one must choose to believe in Jesus, and thus God and his various works, or choose not to believe in Jesus.  It is the requirement of this choice that I believe precludes the proof of the existence of God, as described by Christian doctrine.

If the existence of God could be proven then no sane human would ever be faced with a choice to believe or not.  No sane human would be able to deny God any more than they could deny that the sky is blue or that walls are difficult to walk through.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

I hate Valentines day

If you need a commercialized capitalist holiday to express your feelings for someone you lack the true passion of someone in love. No I wouldn't be so hairy about this if I was currently dating but being single and being subjected to this sucks. I hate this "holiday". There aren't even blood sacrifices to the she-wolf who reared Romulus and Remus. People don't go running down the street naked as part of a fertility festival to celibrate Zeus and Hera's marriage. Why do the fucking cristians gotta steal all our holidays! The Fuckers.

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Am I sane

Am I sane? How can I tell? What is sanity? What is real?


Without a frame of reference for sanity it isn’t possible to tell what is or is not insane. An individual can not by themselves determine their own mental health because the test uses the tool that the test is testing.


The logical conclusion is that you must have a sane person test you. However if you are insane how can you accurately judge if the person or persons you get to test you are themselves sane.


Trust itself breaks down as it is realized that the effected person is incapable of making a decision. This is where the true dangers of insanity lie. The person believing now that they can’t make a good decision must question everything they previous held true.  This only leads to bigger problem once it is realized that they can’t trust the choices they make while reviewing their former beliefs.


The subject is now paranoid.  At this point even certified therapists are unable to help the person because the affected person doesn’t trust that they are there to help. They have lost any sort of connection to the outside world all because they can’t trust themselves.


Trust of ones self must there for be the basis for a sane mind though that can never be proven given the nature of the judgment.


To sum up; Sanity is much like faith in a god who’s presence you can’t prove. No one is able to tell you that god does or does note exist much like they can’t prove that a person is sane or insane.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

A Scanner Darkly

In this world you pay for tilting with evil in cold hard cash.

Justice and honesty and loyalty are not properties of this world.

Why I do what I do

My name is Tom. I am known by other names; Elmo, Zombie, Loki, The Bandersnatch, ect. I am also known as The Drunken Master of Speed. I can drink a pint glass of beer in less than six seconds. I can, in very short order, down many beers and go from sober to pleasantly drunk and do so on certain occasions. I am full of drinking stories from all over the place; from this country and others. Residing in my head are secret drink concoctions that are enjoyed by many and are sought after. People see what I do and they want to do it also and I help them.

They never realize that what I am doing is cramming large amounts of poison into my body. They think what I do is cool and not an act of self destruction. They can't do what I can and that makes them want to. They really want to learn to do to themselves what I do.

So what do I do? I have them become my apprentice if they come to me. They have to practice slamming booze into themselves. They have to work at it. After they've done that long enough they are allowed to challenge me and become part of the House of Speed. Just before I let them in though I look them in the eye and I ask them why they want to kill themselves with booze. Why they hate their bodies and why they want to die that much sooner.

They have to realize that this choice is one that isn't going to lead to happiness but a shorter lifespan. That if it gets on top of them, as it can very easily do, they will lose everything else and won't care that parts of their body are dying. Then I ask them if they still want to do this.

I think this gives them an opportunity to act wild and crazy in a sudo controlled environment and see first hand what all of it means. Hopefully they will see what too much is without getting alcohol poisoning. Maybe they can find out what responsible drinking is and know their limit without being t-totalers.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

I am in my Angry Dome

I am performing the duties of a Windows admin and a Network Engineer because they fired our windows admin and someone had to pick up the slack. They are interviewing for the position of windows admin but the person in charge of making the decision isn't happy with the selection he's gotten. I was told informally by the person who is in charge of making the decision that he would like to hire me. I talked with my contracting company and was told that my current employer inside my company would have to okay it so as not to break a "No Poaching" rule. My current manager will not allow me to leave because she isn't sure that she would be allowed to replace me and isn't sure if she could replace me even if she was allowed to look for someone.

I am not being allowed to advance in my chosen career because of politics and bureaucracy. Not because there isn't a position. Not because there is someone better. Not because I'm not qualified. Not because someone doesn't want to hire me specifically. I'm not getting something that would be better for me and my company because of politics and bureaucracy.

I am upset.

May Eris curse their thumbs, cuss their thumbs, and crust their thumbs.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

License to print money

Go look at and check out the products. I'd like to you read up and understand what their products are and what they do.

Do you understand what they are? I saw one of these machines at my work and it looked sleak and cool so i wanted to know more about it. I wrote the name of the device on my hand and, when I found a moment, looked it up. It's a coffee maker; you probably got that, but I can't tell why it's special. I thought it was an espresso maker, but nothing on the website leads me to believe that's true. I think it is just a coffee maker that instead of the normal drip method uses sub boiling water and a mild pressure. Okay so that does kinda sound like a espresso maker but the lack of high pressure still makes it coffee.

The thing that gets me is the base model of the maker is 70$! 70$ for a freaking coffee machine. So I thought to myself wow that is really expensive for a personal coffee machine; heck I've got a one cup maker that cost between 10$ and 15$. 70$ for a coffee maker that doesn't give me a blow job with my cup of coffee is so expensive that I'm surprised they sell and I wonder about the mental state of a person willing to pay that much for same.

The next bit is the "coffee pods". Thats the nice way of saying "coffee
grounds in a flat circular tea bag". There is every flavor in the rainbow. Every weird concoction you could possibly find at your local Four Bucks coffee chain. I looked at the price for those expecting that I might find a savings that would justify this non-blowjob giving 70$ coffee machine. If you figure the number of "pods" per bag for the price plus shipping and handeling you are still talking about 2$ for a cup of coffee. Madness! I looked at the cheap stuff; you know, basic black coffee flavored coffee, and that is still about 1.20$ + shipping and handeling.

What the crap is this. It's coffee. That's all it is. It is a staple. Why are their people who are willing to pay that much for coffee? I just don't get it.