Friday, July 7, 2017

haunting in the woods

Some friends of mine asked me and my friend Doug to come with them to search for a haunted house way out in an old forest. We geared up for spirits, ghosts, and large horrible woodland monsters and grabbed the 4x4 and drove as close as we could get to where we'd be looking. The geography prevented us from driving closer so we had to hike a bunch of stuff in. We easily found the house in the forest. The trees were not too densely packed and were large with a dense canopy that dimmed the sun. The forest was eerie; some combination of the trees and the leaves made it sound quiet and filled it with whispers. There was no road up to the house. There were no signs of civilization anywhere but here was this white two story colonial in moderately good repair. The windows were in tact but the paint was peeling in places. the rest of our friends hooted with joy at the discovery and eager went though the unlocked door into the house. Several trips were made from the vehicles to the house to bring in supplies. The house was thoroughly investigated and my friends were disappointed to find no secret passage ways or dead bodies or anything except and old forgotten home. There were no pictures on the walls and most of the furniture had been cleared out. There were plates in the kitchen, an old water pump which had good water in it, a wood burning stove. Everything was dusty. My friends and I cleaned house; everything was swept and washed. Fresh firewood was chopped for the stove and the fireplaces. It soon got dark and my friends, disappointed that they didn't find anything spooky, went to bed happy as they anticipated a enjoyable vacation in the woods. Doug and I slept less soundly. There was an odd presence here. It felt like we were being watched. We resolved ourselves to investigate further in the morning.

Dawn came and with it no surprises. Maps where laid out and inspected. There was a lake not far from us and our friends decided to hike out to it to go swimming, fishing, hiking, and hunting. Meanwhile Doug and I got to work securing the house from anything supernatural. I set down a magic circle of protection to keep thing out and Doug started inscribing runes into the windows and doors. I finally found some lesser forest spirits; the ghosts of dead old trees. They warned me that we should leave as there was a dark spirit that slept in that house and that humans in general were not welcome in this area. I assured them that we'd be leaving soon and would try not to disrupt anything. With an air of disbelief the spirit vanished. Our friends returned with fish and rabbits. Our friend Dan the hiker said he didn't feel well and was gonna turn in early. The rest of our friends were oblivious to the growing sense of tension building in the air.

The next day was when things went down hill. Doug and I woke up to shrieks and screams. One of our friends (nameless) had been possessed by a poltergeist and Dan had been possessed by a fallen tree spirit. Nameless was giggling to himself and occasionally cursing as he crawled along the walls and ceiling and Dan just floated upright a foot off the ground; his eyes coal black and head lolled to the side. The fallen tree spirit was mad at all humans because they had burned down his tree. It wasn't hard for us to convince it that Dan didn't deserve this as he was a hiker and loved the forest, so the spirit left. The poltergeist was much tougher. It was strong and didn't care about anything but tormenting people. We could hurt the poltergeist since it was borrowing our friends body but that would hurt our friend also. We had our friends distract the poltergeist as Doug and I went down to the living room and made a binding circle. Once were ready we went up to the room and all of use jumped the poltergeist and tied it to the bed and then sealed up the room hoping that boredom would get the poltergeist to discorporate which it did. Intangible the monster came at us and got trapped in the binding circle where we bound it to a rock. We buried the rock under the stone floor of the basement in a bag of salt. Our friends had lost their childlike joy for the place. We rested up and as soon as everyone was ready we left. Doug and I returned to help put the fallen tree spirit to rest and to appease the spirits of the forest. We then pledge to never come back.

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Murder at the Pit

I was in a movie with a small bit part. It was something like Journey to the center of the earth or a remake of the abyss. We were filming at an old cave that had a deep drop. I was reviewing some photography and one actress who had few images the night before suddenly had over 100,000 images. Turns out she had died by falling in the pit. Sherlock Holmes didn't think it was an accident. He decided to show up in disguise and start investigating. I was the only one who knew he was sneaking around but I didn't know what he looked like. Everyone was freaked out but trying to soldier on. Sherlock started interviewing everyone trying to find the murder and I freaked out because even though I hadn't killed the actress Sherlock always discovers something embarrassing about you and I didn't want him airing my dirty laundry. I panicked and woke up.

Monday, June 26, 2017

not so wild west

last night was strange. western civilization had collapsed I'm not sure why. There wasn't gas for cars, trucks, or airplanes so travel was greatly restricted. Everything had a more wild west settler vibe to it. I was a traveling tinker. I went from town to town fixing things and teaching people how to get by without abundant electric. I took scrap metal and melted it down and refined it so it could be cast and shaped to replace broken parts. I would pay people with work for things I needed and traded when I could. I also brought news and maps. There wasn't much else to it.

Saturday, June 24, 2017

worst job ever; a dream

I was the caretaker for dark souls 3. I did all the repairs and upkeep. Made sure the crystal lizards got exercise so they'd be fast, filed down the giant crystal monsters so they wouldn't get in their own way, maintained all the switches/levers/elevators, restocked ammo for all the giant archers, replaced boxes/barrels that people kept rolling though, played fetch with the horrible monster dogs, fed the dragons, got employee of the month for figuring out how to only light the candles and torches when someone was around which saved a bunch of money, general repairs/disrepairs for buildings, etc ..

generic batman ripoff

I had discovered that fellow billionaire Bruce Wayne was batman and I wanted to do that too only I saw it more like a hobby and didn't go out much. I mostly used it as an excuse to build a secret mancave in my mansion, buy some fancy cars, and do parkour across the city for exercise. I "fought" against a villain that was one part Joker and one part Riddle called the Giggler. We "fought" by him leaving geocaches of jokes and puns that were clues to the next spot like a scavenger hunt. If i completed them all in a set time and found him he'd take me to lunch and if i didn't find him in time i'd take him to lunch.

a dream; an army of blond assassins

I was a spy but not a very good one. I by dumb luck alone intercepted an important code; something that was going to change the nature of espionage forever. unfortunately in was destroyed and now my memory was the only record of it. With as much stealth and careful planning as I could muster I made contact with my organization and asked to be brought in. We were to meet up in a hotel district in europe. I thought this was a terrible idea given that there would be so many people around and we'd never be able to tell if there where bad guys. my organization felt this was perfectly fine and that it was good enough for me. We had a small little apartment on the first floor with a broken ice maker. Without ice it was hot and uncomfortable and I kept asking my handler to go and get more ice from the maker three buildings over. My handler eventually refused and told me that if I wanted ice I could get it myself. I made several trips, each time my paranoia growing a little. I bumped into a blonde with a ski bag that could have easily held weapons. The way she reacted told me that the encounter was staged and she was testing me. I scurried away, got ice, and hid. Another trip and I could swear I was being watched. The roofs had bird watchers on them only one per building but all blond and not really looking for bird. The were in perfect sniper positions. I ran back to my handler and thought I heard a gun shot though it could have been a car back fire. I warned my handler and he dismissed it as paranoia. Another running scene with me moving from cover to cover to retrieve ice and as I returned to the apartment there was a large bunch of blondes so similar in appearance and clothes that they looked like copies of each other. They seemed like they were all part of a biathlon team. They were listening to a matron give a short speech. It sounded like a request for them to behave themselves but if you listened right it also sounded like instructions to comb the area looking for someone. They were gonna be staying in an apartment one floor up and half a hallway down from me. I slowly walked by them and slipped into my apartment. I was losing my mind with terror. They were going to find me and torture me for the information. My handler eventually shut me in my room so he didn't have to listen to my fearful gibbering. I heard a barking. It was the matrons little dog yapping at our door. My handler opened the door to see what was up and the dog ran in and darted under a couch. The matron apologized and called for her dog to come out. She kept up a litany of apologies and complaints about travel and the weather and her little dog in a calm smooth motherly voice while the handler busied himself trying to get the elusive dog out from under the couch. She was scanning the room during this getting as much info as possible from the room. The dog burst out from the couch and ran straight to my door and started sniffing at the gap between it and the floor. It barked in its little yappy way and scratched at the door. The matron swooped in and picked up the dog. The body guard asked her to leave and she made polite noises and thank yous. After she was gone the bodyguard checked my room but the window was open and I was gone.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

dream a little dream

a girl died due to the perfectly legal indirect actions of 7 people and myself. unfortunately the girl was related to a voodoo queen. she cursed us and all sorts of unfortunate things started happening to us; flat tires, broken dishes, lost items, bad traffic, annoyances. One of the people, a real pompous prick of a doctor, called us all to his office. It was a big office but kind of old; like it would have been really impressive 20 years ago. He was that annoying kind of prick that is aggravatingly right about things and a condescending dick about it. he sits us all down and starts trying to convince everyone that we need to go "get her". as he is talking it starts storming out. as he keeps talking the storm gets worse; strong winds, torrential rain, and thunderous lightening. Oddly as the storm outside gets stronger his arguments and peoples reactions get less elegant. eventually they are all resolved to just walk out into the storm and track her down and make her break the curse. none of this sounded like a good idea to me. I tried to convince them that it was a bad idea. For one thing we had no idea where she was and it was really hellish out there. in fact this was another part of the curse. their eyes got a dull sullen look to them and actually looked a little orange around the iris. I refused to go and they were angry at me but didn't threaten me. they belittled me, mocked me, and tried to pressure me to go but I refused. they all left, walking out into the rain. they all got struck by lightening or hit by cars or washed away by the storm