Monday, December 14, 2009


I really ought to get my cook book done. I'm kinda happy with my living arrangement; basically being a house boy, but I need to have an income so that I can feel good about myself. If I could write and cook and something else on the side then I think I'd feel pretty good.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

4 months

This vacation would be a whole lot better if I was getting paid more and knew that I'd still be working at the end of it.

Thanksgiving was ... not horrible.

Monday, November 2, 2009

So much for that

They went with someone else. My contracting agency called me at 2ish to tell me that they liked me but the guy after me was better qualified.

Drinking tonight.

Job Interview

I interview at KCTCS this morning. It went well but not perfect. I was able to talk about a lot of good things and was able to make them laugh even if I wasn't able to answer every one of their questions.

The money is about 9 grand less than I was making but I'd get SQL expereince and any money and work are better than no money and no work.

In the mean time I can keep looking.

Delightful vitrol or troll fodder

When can we be vitriolic on the interwebs and have it not be food for trolls? How can we be hyperbolicly critical without being rightfully called a troll ourselves. I find it very therapeutic to vent my spleen into the anonymous void of the internet but am forever worried that if I do it somewhere very public that I will, instead of garnering giggles, be prompting cyber-malcontents to shit in the forum. And while a certain amount of hypocrisy is fun and funny I don't think I would like to lose what little credibility I have by lambasting trolls while at the same time making monstrous comments about other subjects? I guess it is time for me to go out and find somebodies guide to the subject of internet posting.

We've all had this thought

Why is it that 364 days of the year we tell kids that they shouldn't talk to strangers and to never accept candy from them but at the ass end of October we encourage them to disguise themselves and then do just that.

What power must a halloween mask grant unto its wearer that it can make safe this other wise risky behavior?

Sunday, November 1, 2009

3 months

I have a job interview monday for a community college that I don't really want. It's not helpful to my career and I'm doubting that I'll enjoy the work. The only reason I'm going is because I have to and the money is more than unemployment.

My girlfriend and I broke up. We decided that we were better friends than whatever we were. We got on each others nerves and shouted at each other on a regular basis. We weren't going anywhere or if we were we weren't going their together.

I'm tired again.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

2 months

I've been unemployed for two months now. Looking for work sucks. Not having to go to work is great. I'm getting bored. I'm trying to stay busy. I'm not losing weight like I want to. I'm writing recipes like I thought I would. I think things might turn around soon but I have nothing to base this off of but a feeling. Anna and I are okay but both of us are under pressure and it isn't good for either of us. Brian and Chloe are getting married this Saturday. Will's Bachelor party is the 5th of Nov and his and Jamie's Wedding is the 7th. Halloween is coming. I have 20 weeks more of UI. I am moving in with Will and Jamie and maybe Alex too at the end of November.

Cheeseburger Breakfast Tacos
Naked Chargrilled Pork Ribs
Spicy Chargrilled Pork Ribs

Monday, August 31, 2009

No Knead Bread

Hi. I love this bread recipe. Take a look at where I got it.

4 cups bread flour (I used 3 cups white and 1 cup wheat)
*Note: you can use All-purpose flour if you want and you can also mess with the proportions of wheat to white
1/4 tsp yeast
2 cups water
1 1/2 tsp salt

Mix your flours to combine with the salt and yeast. Add two cups of warm water. Stir until uniform.

Allow to rise for 18 hours! That means if you want fresh bread in the morning you are looking at making this the afternoon of the previous day.

Once the 18 hours is up punch the dough down and turn it out into a well greased bread pan. Allow that a second proof for 2 hours.

Preheat an oven to 425 and bake for 35-45 minutes.

*Note: if you like a really hard crust I suggest a water bath at the bottom of the oven.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Comin' around

Every time I read the news I get sad about the state of the world. I find new reasons to doubt our leaders. I find cause for concern and consternation.

It seems to me that greed, corruption, and the desire for power are just as rampant as they ever were. We might just be realizing it more and that is making the mob restless and disenfranchised which could lead to anger and real problems.

Some part of me would love to see apathy and anger lead this country, and this world, into a bloodless revolution but I recognize that the wealthy will always be willing to bribe enough people to maintain the status-quo.

I hope everything works out. I don't know what I should do to help. I don't know how much help people deserve or if any one organization or person is right to decide how much help people need or who to help. I don't know how to come to an informed decision without trusting others.

Too many things are spun in the media for me to be sure that what is right or wrong and that makes me wonder if I'm getting the whole story.

I need more time off. : )

Hail Eris. Praise Buddha.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009


I have had a few job offers but none have them have been a good fit. On one hand I'm upset that I am not going to get the jobs or that they would be crap and on the other hand I'm happy to do nothing.

I'm a strange man in a strange land.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Down I go

I feel empty and dead inside. Tired, you know. I just want a good long nap and I'd be okay if I just ceased to have been.

I'm not suicidal just hurt, confused, and unappreciated. Like I don't matter.

Good Night

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Can a brother get a hook-up

I wanna move to Portland. It is freakin' awesome there. I need Eris to give a brother a hook up with a job. Then I can try to get my friends out that way. THat would be bitchin'

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Well I'm boned

I didn't get the job at Tempurpedic. It's not shocking I didn't have the experience they were looking for. I'm not going to get the workstation support role either cause Karen can't get a back fill. Hell she is cutting peoples hours just so they don't get personnel or pay cuts.

I am headed to the electronic unemployment line.

I'm sorta happy about that and sorta bummed. Upside I get time off and the government is going to pay me (at least something). On the down side there is no end in sight and the money won't last forever and this is kinda a shot to the ego.

I have a grill to keep me company though and I have already made chicken and a steak.

Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it.

Hail Eris

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The End

The end, as predicted, is coming. As I thought would happen, I have just been informed that unless something changes I am to be Let Go from Lexmark on July 31st. I had prophesied that this would occur on the 31st of the following month so I am nearly a whole month slow but still right. Being right in this case gives me no satisfaction. I will be as noble about this as I can be.

Keep it under your hat if you find this. I'm suppose to keep this secret until the last minute.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Mythical Magical Land of Canadia bitches!

I'm headed to Canada for vacation. I have no idea what all I'm gonna do up there except sight-see and drink.

Working at Lexmark sucks and I want a new job.

Lexmark gets in my way of doing anything the way I want. They don't challenge me or provide me with real work. I don't think i care if I'm here any more. Awesome.

I have helped them as much as they are going to let me help them and now they are not only asking me to help them but they are getting in the way of me helping them.

Time to Go.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Do Unto Others

Rally against those who would possess the world for they are the truly greedy. Let go of your desire for earthly things for in the end they mean nothing. No life has meaning except that which cares for its fellow man. Hold in your heart love for all living things. Know that no person is perfect but the noble strive for all of their life to help others. No man who asks to govern you has your best interests at heart. Trust yourself because without that you can't hope to trust others. Learn what true suffering is and attempt to rid it of yourself and those around you. Encourage people to help others because no man can change the world by themselves.

Live. Love. Create.

Black Thoughts

I am so tired of the people who I perceive to be stupid. I'm tired of people protecting them and helping them. I'm tired of hating them.

I'm tired of a lot of things.

I'm tired of being tired.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Canadia anyone?

I think I might go to Canada for vacation on the week of my birthday.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Limerick Dungon

To your battle skills all should give deference,
(or at least, that would be your preference),
But this goblin is crass
So you hand him his ass
With a witty old pop culture reference.

All at once you're approached by an Orc
Who comes after you waving a spork.
With a thud and a squish,
Well, you make that Orc wish
He was never dropped off by the stork.

I shit you not

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Kingdom of loathing

I'm several years behind the curve on this but I have started playing kingdom of loathing. I am a level 5 disco bandit named Hamdinger. Google it or wiki it here or here.

Let's booze up and Riot!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

I am so very tired

It looks like it is time for me to start painting nightmare paintings again.

I want to kill people without remorse, skin them, then inflate their former husks into horrible ballons.

Nothing matters any where. There is nothing greater after this. Nothing I do here will matter to me once I'm gone. If no one cares about me why should I care about anyone else.

Time for nightmare art.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Watchmen, The cops and fedora 10

Watchmen comes out tomorrow. A bunch of friends of mine are going to the 12:01 showing. I thought about going but it is sold out by now. I'm kinda glad I'm not; the movie is 2 hours and 43 minutes long! I have to be at work in the morning. If I was lucky and got home and asleep by 3:15 that be 4 hours and 15 minutes of sleep before work and screw that.

When I got home from work today at about 5:30-5:45 the cops had blocked off the end of my street. I over heard some yokel talking: It seems that some one shot someone else near Lexington Greene and made it to my street but for the cops surrounded them. I don't know what the rest of the story is; I've been messing around on my computer.

I've been playing around with fedora 10. It is extra crazy awesome. KDE is good. Yum is a way better updater then windows update. The whole thing is smooth. It also looks like it might support my HDMI better. I'll give that a try later. Basically I have been dorking out hard core and loving it.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009


Crockett is getting married on Sept the 12th. Bush is no longer president. Obama walked from Capitol Hill to the White House. I discovered "Dead like me".

The economy is getting worse which is impressively horrible. Work is a strange mix of boring and stressful and with lay offs approaching I'm wondering if I'm going to have a job in 3 months. I'm acting all ballsy because I can go on unemployment for a little while but I'm worried there won't be a job a the end of it or that I'll get unemployment in the first place.

Friday, February 20, 2009


So we imprisoned some people for 7 years and tortured them at GITMO. We just recently decided that they are aren't a threat to this country but that they might be a threat to China. China says they think they are terrorists and wants them since we are done with them. We told China that we don't want to hand them over because we think that China might imprison them and torture them.

::blink blink::

I really don't care if you kill off my government right now. They deserve to fend for themselves.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Meditative Yoga is not for me

Don't get me wrong. Aerobic yoga is great. Meditation is important. But smash'em together and remove the aerobics and it just isn't for me.

short ones

I was in the shambala center during sitting meditation. I was one of maybe 15 people in the room, meditating, when the door opened up and a man with a gun walked in. Everyone in the room turned and looked at him as he raised the weapon but he had no sooner done that then I smoothly and quickly rose, pushed the gun out of the way of everyone, and jabbed him in the throat with my fingers. What followed was a very short fight of maybe three punches; the man mostly trying to bring the gun to bear and me striking him with great force in a way that seemed oddly genital. In the end the man was disarmed, on the ground, unconscious and barely breathing. Through out the whole process my face never lost the peaceful look it had while I was meditating. People were appalled and scared by my actions; that I decided to do what I did so quickly and did so so efficiently that the man with the gun never got a shot off and was now lying in a heap and might die from the injuries I gave him. They grudgingly thanked me for saving them. I then returned to my seat and sat down to continue meditating which horrified them more.

My friend Will and I were playing an RTS game. It seemed that though there were little fights neither of us seemed very interested in destroying each other completely. We declared a truce while we went to get food and go to the bathroom. As we returned a loud klaxon went off warning us that hostiles were entering my airspace. Some other friends of ours had logged into our server and were now sending wave after wave of war machines that were far more advanced than anything that Will or I had and far more numerous then both of us combined. My defense, which had been sufficient until just now were no match for the onslaught. I could only impotently watch as their force quickly dispatched everything I had tried so hard to build without losing anything themselves. I remembering being very angry, nearly violently so, about this as my friends who had done this laughed contemptuously. I woke up.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009


I dreamed a lot last night.

I had a ticket, that looked like a movie ticket stub, for an airline which I had in the front pouch of my gray pull over. My friends and I were in a jungle crawling across downed trees, through rivers, and under dark tropical canopies all trying to get to the airport. I threw away my gray pull over in a rushing river and it was eaten by alligators or something. We made it to the airport which was strangely decorated with a combination of 1970's futuristic purplely green motif and jungle themes. The whole airport was a large as the mall of america and just a confusing. Everyone else got to go straight to the airplanes but because I lost my ticket I had to sneak in. This was managed by going to various place and crossing through them casually making use of back doors that let me into shops, restaurants and play houses. In all of this my clothes became a very nice and comfortable suit; dark but with colorful accents. I found my friends in a plush tiered waiting area that resembled a opera house. The Asian stewardess saw me sit down with my friends and asked me for my ticket. I nervously explained that lost it but that I had purchased one. I asked if she could look it up as I had all my identification. She told me the flight was leaving soon but that if we hurried she might be able to help. We ran faster than a human could ever possibly do, her in her uniform and me in my tux like suit, to sort the matter out. We arrived at a round room open to the sky in the mountains that was surrounded on one side by rapids and a waterfall on the other. The floor was covered in a tatami mats and was ringed by plants and mist. The air was warm, the sun was bright but not glaring and there was very little noise which seemed odd given the rapids and waterfall. It was very peaceful here and the low seats around would make it a great place to meditate. The stewardess turned with concern etched on her face saying that she just brought up my ticket information but that the plane was leaving and there was nothing she could do. I told here I would have to "Go Back" and tell her to make sure to hold the plane. I then started to rewind my life kinda like Nick Cage did in Next, back to the point that the stewardess was about to take me to check on my ticket info. As I was about to ask her to make sure that the plane didn't leave while we were checking I realized I could just rewind to the point where I threw away my gray pull over and take the ticket out first and keep it. The dream ended.

I was at a big covered pavilion with hoards of my friends eating a large amount of food and drinking beer. I was having a great time swapping stories, eating and drinking, when I realized that it was time I got going. I told people I had to leave. There was a groan of disappointed acceptance from my friends as I stood. My friend Will came over and shook my hand and gave me a friendly hug. My friend Jamie came over and gave me a hug and a sloppy kiss on the cheek. I started to make my way out from the pavilions waving and smiling to my friends that said good bye as I walked past. Armed with a walking stick and a backpack I looked out across the grassy turf at the mountains. I realized I was somewhere in Mongolia but that seemed perfectly normal. I got a few hundred feet away from the pavilions and then a bolt of lightening struck me. That was how I traveled. A bolt of lightening would strike me picking me up and then a bolt of lightening would strike my destination dropping me off. It scared my friends and I returned to let them know that it was okay and then I left by lightening bolt again. Dream ends.

There were two others that woke me up panting. I remember that I was chasing something or being chased but can't remember much about them. They weren't scary but weren't good.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

that was an interesting dream

I was at work and everything in the room, my clothes included, burst into flame but I didn't burn. I left the office and as I walked things caught fire. I went down stairs and outside and found that everything that could burn within about 10 feet of me just caught fire. Once I left an area the fire was free to burn itself out. It was kinda like everything within 10 feet of me was suddenly at it's autoignition temperature regardless of the material. I just felt mildly warm. Fire bursting out around me as I walked, I noticed I was naked, my clothes having long ago burnt to ash. I was a little embarrassed but these were strange circumstances. I walked downtown along the roads to minimize damage and walked to the site of the center point project. I walked into the dirt space and sat down so that I wouldn't burn anything else.

The dream ended. I was left with an uncertain feeling not knowing how my situation was going to turn out. This reminds me of another dream I've been having.

Normally I discover that in a localized area I am totally beyond reproach. Absolutely nothing can be done that I don't expressly permit within an area of about 30 to 40 feet around me. Furthermore I am capably of willing things into being; I'm able to grow plants and trees, create or dissipate clouds, bring forth water and create food and goods. I discover that things I create in my area last outside of it if they are a natural thing; simple items I create, and wounds or conditions that I heal, remain even after they leave my domain. I travel to the barren Center Point Project area and turn it into a lush garden/park full of flowers, trees, bushes, grass and a pond. The air is warm and fresh and blows gently. I am dressed in loose shorts only, bare foot, with a body that is far better sculpted than my current one. It is my prerogative to rest here in my utopia while people outside of it hammer on invisible walls and try desperately to gain access or attract my attention. I have a sense that the people outside start off curious but quickly get angry as I ignore their requests and demands. They incorrectly think I am not suppose to be there, that they are my authority, and that I should do as I say. It strikes me that this is as silly as claiming that blue is red and their wrathful and petulant demands are not offensive. The area around me is cordoned off but my location makes it difficult; they can't just wall it up for blocks around me.

Months go by. Military people and scientists maintain a perimeter and try to study and communicate with me. Now that the initial strangeness is over, I decide to make contact. I walk up to the only scientist on observation duty and address her. She is shocked that this is happening and quickly tries to alert others. I wait and soon a panel of lab coats are there. I request to speak with the person that I first talked to. After they realize I won't speak to anyone else she is hastily brought. I ask if she would like to speak to me in my garden. After a tentative yes, the barrier they constructed around me becomes permeable just in front of her and, accepting a hand I proffer, she is pulled through to the shock and consternation of the other scientists and military authority. I tell her I am only here for a short time, maybe a decade or so, and that I am willing to help people out as I like, I am even willing to listen to short petitions but that the world will have to accept that what I decide is final.

I heal a number of people making them whole and healthy, I create a certain amounts of valuable materials for use in the outside world and I speak with a great number of people. I am somewhat vexed though when I discover that the authorities are filtering who comes to me and that a large amount of greed and corruption are forming around me. I request that the authorities put an end to this but they are incapable or unwilling.

They prove that they wish to control me even when it is proven that they can't. I ask for a live news feed to the world, give my first and last press conference condemning anyone who has tried to abuse the gift I was trying to offer, suggest that if people wish to live in a utopia they can't let those who are like that lead, and then I vanish from this world.

My garden remains. No one can enter. It remains unspoiled forever.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Blend baby blend

I bought a 20$ stick blender today from the krogers and the fixings for black bean soup. Turned out okay but I'm gonna do it differently next time. The raw yellow onion is getting replaced with a sauteed vidalia onion and I think I'll use vegetable stock to simmer and puree the veggies in. I also think I'll leave the salt out till last so I can season to taste. Other than that I think the chipolte tabasco was dead on.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Koan Time

There are always three halves to any problem. Half the time it's good, half the time it's bad and half the time it is crazier than a tube sock full of greased weasels.

Riding the catastrophe coaster!

I have my lawn chair and some beer; I'm ready for this country to lose its freakin' mind. The US is going to catch fire; first economically, then politically, then paramilitarily and finally physically. I don't know when and I don't know how much fire. I'm not looking forward to it but at the same time I'm excited to see what happens. Some part of me is concerned that if I express these sentiments too loudly or often people will get mad at me and/or try to hurt me.

It's going to be a strange time to be a discordian. Half the time I'm going to have to laugh at the folly of Grey Face. The other half I'm going to be crying because of the pain. The third half I will spend making macaroni portraits of people.

I see this as a truly amazing thing that is going to be full of wondifurious opportunities and horrible choices. It going to suck. It is going to be hard. It is going to be great. It is going to be rewarding.

Thank you for boarding the catastrophe coaster! Please keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times or you may lose them! Please hold on tight, grit your teeth, button up your assholes and get ready for a hell of a ride!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Ode to the Morons

Kentucky got hit by a pretty good ice storm tuesday and wednesday. Not as impressive as the big ice storm in 2003 but still a good amount of ice and snow. The biggest downside for me is the effect on my blood pressure as I watch my fellow Lexingtonians showcase their near total ignorance of how to operate their vehicles in these conditions.

Please read the following.

Ice reduces the frictional coefficient of the road and to a lesser degree your tires. This means that you aren't able to stop as quickly or turn as sharply without sliding. It also means that you can't start moving forward as quickly. With the exception of being parked, that means that snow and ice effect everything you do in your car. The speed at which you drive your car changes the amount of force your car has that must be resisted by friction in order to start, stop or turn. Furthermore, trees in your area, I'm sure you've noticed, get weighed down with ice and snow and can break so parking near trees in these conditions could result in your vehicle getting damaged by falling branches.

All of this means the following:
1. Don't cut people off or pull out in front of people. They won't be able to react as quickly and might run into you.

2. Leave a lot of room between you and everyone else on the road, in front, in behind, AND to the side, so that you have time to slowly react to problems

3. Don't turn or break suddenly. You might lose traction all together.

4. Hills are especially dangerous. As you go up or down a hill you actually lose more friction than of level icy roads. You should avoid hills if possible.

5. Stopping on icy hills is very difficult. If you live on a hill that has become icy, park at the bottom of the hill and walk up.

If the above didn't make sense at any point or you have no intention of heeding these warnings you are an idiot and shouldn't be out driving. DO YOU HEAR ME YOU SLACK JAWED, CUM GARGLING, JUNK SLUT? YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT! YOU ARE AN IGNORANT WORTHLESS ASSHOLE AND I HOPE YOU DIE SLOWLY! LEARN TO DRIVE YOUR GOD DAMN CARS OR, BETTER YET, DON'T DRIVE THEM AT ALL!


Monday, January 26, 2009

Good mumbo jumbo

You don't have to have a reason to be happy. : )

Thursday, January 22, 2009

round two

look at the time
I have to rhyme
Just so you'll let me go
I hate your face
I'm out of this place
you stupid dumb ignorant ho

Non Sequitur Bingo

A group of people gather for the discordian game of Non Sequitur Bingo. "But how do we play" they cry. Determine order of play by your favorite method; flip a coin, roll a die, paper-rock-scissors, steal cage match, whatever. The first person says three words that have nothing to do with each other but evoke a strange/humorous mental image (example: Orbiting Whale Pump). These three words form the categories for this round. The next person tries to come up with three words that fit each category in order but that still don't relate to each other. No word can be repeated (no one in this round can use "Whale" from the previous example). A word fits a category by general agreement (Circling might fit in the category of Orbiting). This passes from one player to the next until there aren't any more good word combos, people get bored, or you're out of beer.

Discordian poem combat

5 lines, two stanzas, 2nd and 5th lines rhyme. So very much like a lymric.

If I existed between 7 and 9
I'd be 2 to the 3rd

It would be great
If I was an 8
instead of half of a turd

or less emo

If you existed between 7 and 9
you'd be 2 to the 3rd

It would be great
If you were an 8
Instead of half of a turd

I dare you to use that last one the next time a really unattractive person hits on you at a bar.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Another good line

If I go for a stroll am I a stroller

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Good Line

Love is the most beautiful death a man can suffer

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

"Tom, don't you think that's going to far?"

"The only way to get where you are going is by going all the way"

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Ecclesiastic muscles have been flexed

Monday night (11:30, 1/5) I married Austin Parker to his spiral staircase; Dorra Gene. Quick greating, statement of intent, a bible verse, exchanging of vows and rings, annoinment of couple with booze, pronouncement and done with a best man and a maid of architecture. I'm horrible.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Good news and bad news

Hail Eris, full of grace. Caffeination takes her place.

Hail Eris, full of grace. Likes to sit down on my face.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Here we go again

One more run around the sun here on spaceship earth.

I want to make a rhyme out of that.  It has a good flow but the only way it leads me is depressive and emo and I just don't feel that bad.  I see a bunch of stuff I think is horrible; close minded, repetitive,  unthinking, terroristic, overly-aggressive and uncreative things, but at the same time I can sense an intangible force building to dissipate what I will, for lack of a better term, call evil.

I'm concerned but hopeful.  I'm not certin if that is because I see a way through or becuase I don't want things to turn into a nightmare.

I guess that I need to start bending my will toward this project. It is a new year in a new apartment and time for Shrine creation.

Let things not suck.