I have had a miasma of horrible thoughts recently. Doubts, worries, and uncertainties that fill my head. Below is a block of them
I am dumb and I feel myself getting dumber. I'm not good enough to be great and since I can't achieve escape velocity then I am doomed to crash. I've lied so much, to myself and others, that I don't know who I am. I don't care about much and I'm concerned that I'm not concerned about that. I'm worried I can't reasonably say that at least I'm good at what I do. I'm just introspective enough to realize i've been making conciliatory statements about myself.
Ug. These thoughts wear me down. I don't want to ignore them but thinking about them scares me.
How does one successful live ones life? What does success mean? What are my needs? What do I want from life? Why am I just now thinking about this? If there is no point to life, if I have no goals, then how can I derive what I should be doing?
I wonder if that's what life ultimately is? The pursuit of self assigned goals. I have a lot to think about.