Discordian poem combat

5 lines, two stanzas, 2nd and 5th lines rhyme. So very much like a lymric.

If I existed between 7 and 9
I'd be 2 to the 3rd

It would be great
If I was an 8
instead of half of a turd

or less emo

If you existed between 7 and 9
you'd be 2 to the 3rd

It would be great
If you were an 8
Instead of half of a turd

I dare you to use that last one the next time a really unattractive person hits on you at a bar.