Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Ode to the Morons

Kentucky got hit by a pretty good ice storm tuesday and wednesday. Not as impressive as the big ice storm in 2003 but still a good amount of ice and snow. The biggest downside for me is the effect on my blood pressure as I watch my fellow Lexingtonians showcase their near total ignorance of how to operate their vehicles in these conditions.

Please read the following.

Ice reduces the frictional coefficient of the road and to a lesser degree your tires. This means that you aren't able to stop as quickly or turn as sharply without sliding. It also means that you can't start moving forward as quickly. With the exception of being parked, that means that snow and ice effect everything you do in your car. The speed at which you drive your car changes the amount of force your car has that must be resisted by friction in order to start, stop or turn. Furthermore, trees in your area, I'm sure you've noticed, get weighed down with ice and snow and can break so parking near trees in these conditions could result in your vehicle getting damaged by falling branches.

All of this means the following:
1. Don't cut people off or pull out in front of people. They won't be able to react as quickly and might run into you.

2. Leave a lot of room between you and everyone else on the road, in front, in behind, AND to the side, so that you have time to slowly react to problems

3. Don't turn or break suddenly. You might lose traction all together.

4. Hills are especially dangerous. As you go up or down a hill you actually lose more friction than of level icy roads. You should avoid hills if possible.

5. Stopping on icy hills is very difficult. If you live on a hill that has become icy, park at the bottom of the hill and walk up.

If the above didn't make sense at any point or you have no intention of heeding these warnings you are an idiot and shouldn't be out driving. DO YOU HEAR ME YOU SLACK JAWED, CUM GARGLING, JUNK SLUT? YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT! YOU ARE AN IGNORANT WORTHLESS ASSHOLE AND I HOPE YOU DIE SLOWLY! LEARN TO DRIVE YOUR GOD DAMN CARS OR, BETTER YET, DON'T DRIVE THEM AT ALL!


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